𝐅𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍 | Review Shop [CLOSED]

Brutal Bonding [Nika]

Book: Brutal Bonding
Author: pinkenme
Reviewer: Nikachu22
Chapters read: 10

Main focus:
• pacing/anticipation
• anything else you'd like to mention

Cover/Blurb/Title:
Upon first glance, I see the cover. What I suggest is if you want to feed off the title and give the cover more spunk, maybe some bloody wrists bound by chains that are crumbing or an individual clouded by some kind of aura, but the person should be in pain. The cover should either portray emotional or physical means of being restricted. This sounds like someone being confined by something that will feed off the blurb as you stated that she's being tested under a vicious oath. Bring everything together and mash it so that each piece feeds off the other.

Thoughts:
First chapter. It was great. Starting with suspense and pull is one of the best choices in a mystery story like this. You give us the creepy vibe that follows and how Wren first makes her decision/mark in joining the school. It's screaming 'How it all began.' Then there's the mystery of her mother. The sisters all have distinct character traits which is great and the pacing was pretty nice until Warner and Wren at the swimming pool.

She already had an opinion of him because of what he had done earlier and she judged him based on her own boundaries as a human being. She was disrespected and she had every right to feel as such.

What I find a little troubling is that Mina comes along and tells Wren a story and then she just switches completely in her original thoughts. She goes from not appreciating him to full out them about to kiss and Warner throwing a declaration of love and the entire scene to me was rushed, but not in the sense of you taking their character interaction and rushing it, no. It was more of the pacing in their relationship as a whole.

Way too soon to have that level of emotions put into these characters without any depth into them coming together. They don't even have enough opinions about each other to display something so drastic. I think the level of emotion here should be toned down to the bare minimum.

Warner isn't a character I find myself liking. His approach and rushed antics seem to be sort of fake which makes him predictable, hollow, and I can't see why everyone likes him if he acts so rash. To grasp a mystery, making him less obvious is the key. Now if that's the course you're going for then by all means, do it, but there needs to be something that places us as readers in knowing that she will inevitably be betrayed or at least make us slowly build small things about Warner's shitty personality.

If in fact, that isn't the case, then I'm going to say that it's ok for characters to have some sort of pull towards each other. Whether it be from looks (because they are meeting) or voice or style that's completely fine. So the level of affection should exist with some boundaries. Characters should have a sense of guard unless they are completely oblivious to the world, but going to that school, I couldn't even begin to think why anyone wouldn't have a sense of protecting space.

Keeping the interaction in the cute phase between the two at this time would be more of a welcoming direction. Right now the cliche level is high. I understand you may want her being betrayed to have a significant impact on her (getting this from the way you portrayed her.) so she can harvest the devastation, but in this case, the building is better.

She is easily swept off her feet and Warner is the epitome of a lie which is clear as day, but she holds no type of guard and becomes the perfect candidate for bullying/ anything torturous. She even suffers and allows the sisters to mess with her.