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The Sleuth's Pursuit [Abiya]

Story: The Sleuth’s Pursuit
Author: Ardra06
Reviewer: Ablazeisaleo
Chapters reviewed:

Cover (6/10):
I really love the title as it straight out points that we are up for a crime heist and I love books where the titles are quite straightforward rather than beating around the bush. However, I suggest a change in the cover. I see the crime vibes as I can see a whole crime scene tape around and other elements but it isn’t quite breathtaking enough to attract readers. I love the quote ‘The game has begun, the chase is real’ however due to the font and the cover as a whole it isn’t quite visible to readers. A change to the above and you are good to go!

Blurb (4/10):
Okay, so the whole blurb needs a head-to-toe touch-up. A blurb should contain the plot of the story and anything you would like the readers to know beforehand while reading your story. Here, I can see that forensic scientists are mentioned and basically, that’s it. After reading the blurb, I was clueless as forensic scientists and sleuth are like two different occupations so making it a bit more clear in the blurb would actually catch the reader's attention. Try adding in the setting where the story takes place, and the characters involved without obviously revealing too much. ‘The sleuth’s pursuit thrusts you……the bloodstain diaries begins’ This portion would make a perfect ending to the blurb.

Character Description (6/10):
I love how Nyx is portrayed as a dedicated forensic scientist and is very keen on bringing out justice. However, the way she bags in the evidence and her intuitions regarding the case feels a bit quickened and abrupt which breaks the flow. I will discuss this aspect in detail below.

Plot and Writing Style (7/10):
I love the central plot where a group of forensic scientists lead a case to bring out the perpetrator and uphold justice. Beginning with the prologue, I’m not quite sure why a poem is there because as a crime author myself, when it comes to reading crime-themed books, we often prefer a prologue where it starts off with a mysterious opening and a poem would be the last thing on our minds.

Secondly, I quite didn’t like the information page which is put between the prologue and the first chapter. When we tend to move on with the flow and then suddenly we find an author’s note, it kinda cuts off the flow of reading. You can have a separate chapter at the start titled ‘Author’s note’ and post the contents there rather than fitting it in between chapters.

Thirdly, I was a bit confused about the change in writing style between the 1st and all other chapters. The first chapter starts off with present-tense writing while the rest continues with the past tense. I would suggest you stick with a single writing style rather than mixing tenses as it might break the flow of reading.

PS: My personal suggestion would be to use past tense as most of the books we stumble upon have a past tense style of writing rather than the present.

Grammar (5/10):
Regarding grammar, I believe I stumbled upon the wrong sentence structure rather than finding grammatical errors. That's okay though because I myself am not a big grammar guru but I would suggest you use grammar checkers like Quillbot or Grammarly to rectify minute grammatical mistakes in your story.

Overall, I love how the story is pacing and I cant wait to find out more about Nyx’s findings about the case. With a bit of change to the above mentioned corrections, this story is simply going to shine!

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