Brotherhood [Zee]

28 4 0
                                    

Book: Brotherhood 
Author: devilsqdvocate
Reviewer: Nobody247GHOST
Number of chapters read: 5

Author's Note: 6/10
This is a very good starting point in your book. I do believe though that it may be misnamed as it is more of a Warning page than an Author's Note page, but it doesn't really matter if you change it or not.
I love the ending to this page, very creative.
I also love the general idea of this page, but I believe it may be conceived as a bit boring to your readers as not much happens on this page.

Characters One and Two: 9/10
I love the creativity! I love how the characters are portrayed and I love that there is very little going on, but it immediately hooks my attention with the bold color choice and graphic detail.
I do feel that it is a bit long for the start of a book though, it is almost perfect as it is, but I would like to suggest introducing your characters in acts, so your readers are more likely to remember which character is which. For example:

Act One - The Deal
(Picture)
STEVE of Grorhur
(Picture)
Nora of Phophis
Etc.
And then when you need to introduce your other characters is becomes another act.
This is a beautifully done chapter!

Prologue: 9/10
I love this chapter; you are a very skilled writer, and it clearly shows.
I don't believe I found any spelling or punctuation mistakes and your paragraphs are written very extensively and organized. Your adjectives could probably be a bit more extensive, but they are also perfectly fine left how they are.
I do believe the historical accuracy is a bit incorrect though and I understand that this is an AU so anything could happen but generally women of the later eras (especially daughters) would not speak out of turn or against the word of the man of the house, obviously, the shows and movies we have today are incorrect as they display many women doing exactly that. I'm not saying that you have to change this though.
I understand that you are trying to relay Nora and her father's relationship to the audience and that Nora is clearly a very headstrong character, this is portrayed beautifully through this interaction discussing her arranged marriage to end the war.
Other than the argument that Nora and her father engage in, the rest of it is quite historically accurate, I would also like to suggest the word "Harlot" instead of "Tart." Tart is a bit more modern than harlot which is more likely to be used in and around this time-period, I would also like to suggest slipping in a bit of Shakespearean language every now and then, just to make it seem a bit more historical.
I do really love this chapter and I really feel for Nora. It is amazing!

Chapter One: 10/10
I love this chapter. I felt really engaged and invested in the story.
This chapter was written perfectly, the paragraphs were very organized, the descriptions were amazing, the historical setting was perfect.
I just absolutely loved reading this chapter and I know many of your readers will too, you truly have a talent for writing lovely, keep it up!

─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─ ⋄ ☾∘☽ ⋄ ─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─

Thank you for requesting a review from us. Do let us know what you think so that we can improve to better provide for authors like you.

𝐅𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍 | Review Shop [CLOSED]Where stories live. Discover now