Oneshots - Kayce Dutton

Breathe with me

Request - The reader has some ptsd, can be from serving in the military or something else from her past, your choice. She has coping mechanisms and kayce her boyfriend helps her a lot, but something happens well working on the ranch that brings her into a flashback episode. She's having a hard time and freaking out so one of the wranglers call kayce to help figure things out and calm her down.

You were eight years old when your father shot himself in front of your family farm. It was a warm summer morning and he had just filed for bankruptcy but hadn't told your mother. He was a drunk and there was no helping him. You remember the fight between him and your mother that morning. She had kicked him out and he wondered the farm for the day before coming back to the front yard of your house.

You were playing under the trees when you looked over at him. He smiled at you, and you smiled back, not thinking anything more of him. But then you noticed the gun in his hand. You thought it was weird, but looked back down at the bracelet you were making. Then the gun fired off and you jumped out of your skin.

When you looked back over, your father was on the ground. He was gone, but the mounds of debt and problem were still there. It plagued your mother for years and eventually she went mad herself. You saved up enough to put her in a state home, but then you left West Virginia behind for the cooler mountains.

Three years ago, you came to work for John Dutton. You were an excellent calf breeder and so John hired you as a hand for one summer. Three summers later, here you were. You now had another reason to stay close to this place and that was John's youngest son, Kayce.

You had met Kayce at his lowest point. He was recently divorced and having problems fighting his ex-wife to see his son. He had roughed up someone at a gas station and was almost arrested. But when you smiled at him, Kayce almost immediately acted differently around you.

The two of you became friends first. You would listen to Kayce's problems and talk with him for hours at a time. You befriended his son, Tate too. One day you pulled up near the reservation and saw Kayce and Tate were shooting at cans. One fire from the gun and you were back to being eight again, and terrified. You stayed in the truck until Kayce came over to you curious as to why you weren't getting out. You confessed to him about what happened to you.

Kayce reached out and held your face in his hands, bringing you close to his own. He told you to breath in and out, that you were having some sort of panic attack. You held his wrists and could feel his pulse beating. It calmed you down and after a few minutes your eyes were clearer as you looked into his. His smile brought you back to reality and you took a deep breath. That was also the day Kayce kissed you for the first time.

You were currently walking the fence line with a few other wranglers. It was warm out, most of the grass in the valley was a golden color from the heat this year. You each were spread apart about five feet or so just to make sure no one missed anything. Jimmy was finishing up the line and drinking a beer already. He sat the empty can on top of one of the posts.

"Walker!" He called out, making all of you look at him. "Think you can hit it?"

"Jimmy...you dumbass," Walker shook his head but pulled his pistol and quickly fired, the can sent sailing away.

You felt your heart drop though. The sound, mixed with the warm sunshine and heat made you fall to your knees in an instant. Your hands coming up to your chest that felt like it was pounding.

"Y/N?" Ryan leaned down and held your shoulder.

"S-Stop," You muttered, closing your eyes.

"Get Kayce," You heard Ryan say to someone.

Kayce had been with another group of wranglers not too far off. In about ten minutes he was riding up, jumping off his horse and kneeling down in front of you.

"Y/N?" Kayce said gently, his hands holding your arms. "What happened?"

"They d-didn't mean," You stuttered.

"Kayce, we were just messing around," Jimmy said.

"Just shooting cans," Walker said.

"Y/N?" Kayce asked again. "Leave us the fuck alone!"

You heard the others walk away. Kayce's thumbs rubbed the skin of your arms.

"Hey..." Kayce whispered. "Y/N...look at me."

You slowly opened your eyes. Kayce's golden ones were looking into yours with worry. He tilted his head to the left as he gently cupped your cheeks in his hands.

"Breathe, baby," Kayce said. "In and out."

You tried to breathe with him and eventually, you felt your chest lighten up some. Your breaths became longer as you settled back down in the grass. Kayce's thumbs rubbed your temples soothingly as he breathed with you.

A few more minutes later as you felt like you could talk again. Your eyes looked up into Kayce's.

"Hey," He smiled at you.

"I'm sorry," You frowned.

"Ain't nothing to be sorry for," Kayce shook his head.

"I shouldn't let guns do that to me," You took another deep breath. "We live on a ranch for God's sake."

"Y/N...it's not you," Kayce murmured.

"I wish I could just get over it," You shook your head, letting Kayce's hands fall gently from your face. "I hate it...I feel so weak."

"You ain't week," Kayce smiled.

"You can stop trying to make me feel better," You rolled your eyes at him.

Kayce reached over and held your chin, forcing you to stop talking and look at him.

"You ain't weak," He repeated himself. "Don't say that about yourself again to me."

You blinked a few times at how serious he seemed.

"You went through something traumatic," Kayce sighed. "Someone no one, let alone a kid, should have to go through."

"I sometimes just feel it' silly," You whispered. "There are real problems people go through...just look at you."

"What do you mean?" Kayce asked.

"Your PTSD," You nodded. "I know you think you hide it and while maybe you do from others, I can see right through you. Your eyes get distant, and it took me a while to figure it out but it's because you go back there...wherever there is."

Kayce was watching you closely.

"You went through an actual war, Kayce," You sighed.

"Don't do that," Kayce snapped. "Don't compare us...it's two different things but that doesn't mean they both don't impact us in similar ways."

You sat there with him for a few minutes.

"Do you ever feel like a child?" You asked softly.

"With mine?" Kayce asked you and you nodded. "I just feel helpless...but almost like maybe I deserve to feel it too."

That was different for you to hear.

"You don't deserve to ever feel like that," You reached over and held Kayce's hand.

"Neither do you," Kayce eyed you.

You smiled at him.

"How'd we find each other out here?" You wondered, your eyes looking out at the rolling hills before you.

"God's got a way of sending angels when we need them," Kayce leaned back to rest back on his elbow next to you.

You moved your hands behind you to hold you up while you leaned back.

"Hey Kayce?" You asked.

"Mmm?" Kayce looked up at you.

"Thank you," You smiled down at him.

"Anytime, baby," Kayce smiled.