Sunshine...?

3

Maybe if I finally die, I won't be putting stress on mom anymore. Maybe Y/n can find a nice person to date, and won't be forced to spend so much energy and effort on me. If I can finally end it all, maybe everyone else will be able to live better lives. Right now they all have problems, and I'm the cause of them all. I need to get out of their lives before I completely ruin it for everyone.

"Shoyo!" You had woken up extra early, so that you could help him with his morning practice. Sure, it was only the second day of school, but you really wanted to be there for your best friend (and crush) every step of the way. "Wake up, already! We need to get ready so we can start with your morning training!" You smiled as you lightly shook his body, standing right next to his bed.

Hinata was awake the whole time, he could barely sleep. His thoughts kept him awake, and he had cut himself sometime in the middle of the night. He turned his head, looking at you, and forces a smile onto his face. "Morning, Y/n. You know, you don't need to come with me to practice. I doubt you'll be doing much. I don't want to waste your time."

"You could never waste my time, Shoyo! I want to help you. I promise to not get in the way, and help you get stronger. Together, we'll make sure you can't lose to anyone!" You grab one of his hands in your own. "Now, come on! Get out of bed! Don't make me pull you out!"

He quickly sat up, pulling his arms away from you. He couldn't let you know about what happened last night. He felt lucky that he wore a hoodie to bed. The last thing he wanted was for you to see his arms wrapped in the bandages, of which he would need to change before leaving the house. "I'm up, I'm up. I can get ready by myself. Just go to the kitchen and get yourself something to eat while I get changed."

You raise a brow at him, tilting your head to one side. "Why can't I just stay in here with you? We're best friends, we used to take baths together when we were children. I didn't think it mattered if we saw each other while changing."

Hinata almost panicked, he didn't want you to find out about his cutting. "No. We're teenagers now, and our bodies are different. It's wrong to change together. Wait for me downstairs, I'll hurry up so we can leave soon."

You nod, reluctantly walking to the door and opening it. "Alright. I'll make you something to eat, too. You need to eat to have the energy to play volleyball." You give another big smile, then exit the room and close the door behind you.

Hinata lets out a sigh, getting off of his bed. He starts stripping down, getting out of his sleepwear. He heads over to his closest, where he keeps his medical supplies stored. He takes the bandages and disinfectant out, quickly going through the process of changing his bandages. Some blood drips onto the floor, which the boy quickly notices once his arms are wrapped back up. "Shit." He mutters curses under his breath. He quickly grabs some of his cleaning supplies, making sure there's no way anyone would be able to tell that there was ever any blood on the floor. Once everything was taken care of, he puts his supplies back in the closet and continues to get dressed in his school uniform. He packs his gym outfit into his bag, so that he can change into it before starting practice. He leaves his room, finding you making food in the kitchen.

You had just finished making breakfast for the two of you. You turn and smile at your crush. "Hey, Shoyo. I made food. Let's eat before heading out for school. Oh, who else is going to be at practice this morning?"

Hinata grabs his food from you, quickly sitting down to start eating. "Just Kageyama and one of the second years, Tanaka-san." He quickly shovels food into his mouth, wanting to hurry so he can get to the school asap.

You noticed how quick he was eating, deciding to eat fast yourself. You managed to finish just before him, but you took both of your plates to the sink when both of you finished your food. "Alright, I think I'm all ready. My bike is outside, next to yours. Are you ready to get going?"

He nods, heading to his front door. "Yeah. Hurry up, we need to get there before the others. I'm not losing to Kageyama at anything, that includes getting to practice before him."

You leave the house, closing the door behind you. You watch as he locks it up, then you two get on your bikes and start making your way to school. "You know, Shoyo, you seem a little down lately. Is everything alright?"

Hinata keeps his eyes forward. He doesn't want to lie to you, but he can't bring himself to tell you the truth either. "I'm just upset about the volleyball club thing. I wanted to be able to start playing with the rest of the team right away. It bothers me a little that I'm unable to play because Kageyama picked a fight with me." He wasn't completely lying, but he'd never admit to his depression. Not to anyone, least of all you since he cared about you more than anyone else.

You look around, making sure there really wasn't another person out at this hour. Luckily for you, it was too early for anyone other than the two of you to be active. "That makes sense. I'm here for you. I'll stay by your side until the end of time. I want to see you happy, like you've always been. That's why I'm insisting on helping you so much. I know you do great at anything you put your mind to, and I wanna be able to not only see your success but also be a part of what helps you to accomplish your goals." You felt your face heat up, knowing you were pretty close to giving a confession. But you weren't ready to admit to being in love with your best friend. You knew he was more focused on volleyball, and you didn't want to risk distracting him or holding him back from his true potential.

Hinata chuckled. "Thanks, Y/n-chan. I don't know what I would do without you. You're the best, for everything you do for me. You mean so much to me. I love having you be a part of my life." Which is why I can't let you in on the darkest side of me. You know me as being the happiest person in the world, and lately I've been letting my mask slip. I need to fix it in place, so you can't see what I've become. I need to be the ray of sunshine for you. I can't worry you. I don't want to be the reason why you're sad, ever. I need to pretend like everything is fine, so you never have to waste time on me.

You smile brightly. "I'll always be a part of your life, Shoyo. You're the most important person to me. You always have been, and you always will be."