Where Were You

Lost Lovers, Forever Friends

Sammy's PoV

"Okay, one last time, your fingers don't move down the fret." Sofi smirked and sat back on her couch in her home studio. "You really suck at this, you know?"

I laughed and placed the guitar down, putting my hands up in the air. "I suck, I admit it." I grabbed my coffee and took a sip, peering over at the woman across from me. "So what's up?" I asked softly, knowing her body language all too well.

Sofi sighed and brushed a hand through her hair. "I just had a tiny fallout with Tracey before I came here."

I frowned in concern. "About what?"

"I don't know really," she let out a laugh and sat up on the couch, tucking her legs under her, "mainly about us."

"Us?" I raised an eyebrow, pointing between her and me; she nodded. "There is no 'us'."

"I know." Sofi breathed and picked at her fingernails. "I think because we've been spending so much time together, I guess she thinks there is an 'us'."

"Well there isn't." I insisted softly and sat down next to Sofi on the couch. "She really has nothing to worry about."

"Really?" Sofi asked quietly, her grey eyes finally looked up into mine for the first time since we started the conversation.

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "Sofia, you know that you'll always be my number one girl, right? I mean, you know that there'll always be a part of me that'll never stop loving you."

Sofi held my gaze and nodded. "Same here."

"Remember when I first came back to you after leaving and we ended up jumping right into bed together without talking?" I hated the memory because it had to have been one of the best times in bed ever, yet it was tainted by the knowledge that she was with someone else.

"How could I forget?" Sofi shook her head.

"We can't do that again," I licked my lips, "I mean you're engaged to an incredible woman and I'm dating Normani."

"I know." Sofi frowned and let go of my hand, standing up. "I never said I was going to do that again," she looked hurt for a second, "do you really think I'd do that to either of you again?"

"Well no, I-"

"Tracey has been the only one who tells me when I'm being a complete asshole yet understands it all. She's been my rock through these past couple of months." Sofi started to pace.

"Sofi... I know that..."

"She was pretty much the only one who told me it'd all be okay and I had no choice but to believe her because she was the only one..." she stopped talking and looked out the window.

"I wish I could've been there," I moved towards her, my hands reaching out to touch her shoulders only to have her pull away, "Sofi?"

"Yet here I am, wishing all that time I was with you!" She laughed and shook her head. "Can you believe it? I mean I haven't seen or heard from you in months and all of sudden we're hanging out every day. Yet I still think about you and wonder 'what if'."

I stepped back and tilted my head slightly. "We always think about our first loves," I whispered, "it's normal."

"It's not when you're engaged and you're still wondering if you made the right choice." Sofi spat out and rubbed her hands over her face hard. "God I'm such a fucked up mess."

I swallowed and successfully grabbed her hands and pulled her into a hug. "Was it better when I was away from you?"

"No." Her voice was muffled through my shirt. "It hurts."