Reflections of Light

Not Real

When he came to visit her this night, immediately he knew something was wrong.

Curled in on herself, arms around her knees drawing them upwards to hide her face, she was the picture of frustrated anger.
Gently, he reached for her shoulder. "You alright?"

"No." She replied in a muffled, irritated voice.

There was a pause of silence, the obvious next question hanging unspoken in the air.

"I got into a fight with Selene." Finally she filled in, revealing her face to wipe away the frustrated tears that had escaped against her will. "It was stupid. She wanted to know where I'd gone with Maddie yesterday, and I couldn't give her a straight answer."

She sighed heavily. "It's ridiculous really. She's just looking out for me. She's got a right to be worried after everything that's happened. It's just... Ugh!" She buried her face in the pillow, knuckles going white with the strength she clutched it.
"I hate this! I just hate all of this! All the fucking secrets! It's driving me fucking mad!"

"Shhh." He said, hand going to stroke her frustration-tangled hair gently, brushing the unkempt curls out of her face as she turned to the side.

"I. Just. Can't. Do. This." She said, expressing widely with her arms before bringing them up to hide her face. "It's all so... Much. So much is a lie. I just... I can't tell what's real and what's not anymore, and it's driving me insane!"

She collapsed onto him, face pressed into the his shoulder, gripping the material of his shirt like life depended on it, sobbing quietly as he held her close, rubbing her back and smoothing her hair as he whispered soothing things to her.

Slowly, she quieted, slipping into that burnt-out exhaustion that follows when there's nothing left to cry, just dazedly enjoying the safe feeling of being in his arms.

She hummed sleepily, making him chuckle as she pressed her face into the crook of his neck.

"Mmmm... I wish this could be real."

"It is."

"Liar." She whispered, lips pressed against his collar bone.

He tensed up slightly. "How is it not?"

"Because it just isn't."

"Why?" He said curtly, tipping her face up with his fingers so he could look into her eyes.

"Because, that's just not how it works."

"What do you mean 'that's not how it works'? That's not how what works?"

"This! Everything! It's just... It isn't real! It just isn't! It... It wouldn't be like this, not really."

She looked distressed, having pulled away from him, crouched on her bed, her hands moving anxiously from wrapped around herself up to fiddle with her hair over to rub at her face in a randomly-mixed loop.

He grabbed her hands to still them, holding her wrists between them as he bent to look in her eyes, her trying to avoid his gaze. "Listen to me. It is real. It can be."

"No, its not! It can't be. Stop... Just stop! I don't... Let go of me!"

She tugged her arm from his grasp, tumbling backwards onto the bed and catching herself on her forearms, panting heavily, eyes wide.

"I don't... Know anymore. I don't know."

She rolled onto her side, burying her face in her hands. "I just... It's all too difficult. I can't do this. I can't."

"Nyx..."

"Go away. I don't want you here! Just go! Go away!" She just couldn't do this right now, just couldn't communicate how she couldn't do this right now.

"Fine then." His voice sent a chill down her spine, sounding both angry and hurt, something heavy seeming to settle in her gut as the air seemed to become stifling.

"Wait...!" She went to call out turning over and reaching for him, but it was too late.
The empty room seemed void like around her.

The curtains of the wide-open window blew softly as she scrambled over, peering out anxiously to see one shadow, dark against the pale lamplight, sink into many.

This was both painful and delicious to write, so I'm taking that to mean it's good.
Hope you like, please feel free to leave feedback!