Reflections of Light

Searching For Enough

"I... Have lived a very long time." Alysha started, after a long pause had hung between them. "My... Earliest memory is being alone. Completely so, no parents, no family, nothing.
Aw, don't give me that look, I evidently survived it."
She nudged Nyx with her shoulder, a playful gesture to encourage a smile.

"Anyway, it didn't last for forever. I had a whole wide world at my fingertips, all shiny and new. And of course I found people. I found lots of... Very interesting people." Her expression looked distant for a second, like she was distracted by a thought; a thought that was making her choose her words carefully.
Then she smiled, back to her cheery self once more.
"But those are some stories for another time. To long to go into now. I'm not even at the story I want to tell yet. Needless to say, I never truly fit in with any of them. I liked some of them, quite a bit, but I never fit. But I loved to explore, to find things, to learn things. And I did. Oh, I did. So many amazing things, and beautiful things, and terrible things too."
Her eyes seemed to practically light up as she spoke, conveying a sense of pure wonder as she gesured widely with her hands, seeming to draw it into the air as spoke in a way that made Nyx want to ask- near beg- to understand the secrets.

Anyway, for all my many games and adventures, there was also war. So many wars, I don't even remember where one began and another ended. What can I say, conflict is fascinating.
But also dangerous." An almost rueful grin twitched at her mouth, possibly the most casual reaction that could be expected to be paired with this topic.
"Some things... Went wrong. I... Lost a lot of power, and so... I retreated to the caves, where I knew I could hide, where I knew I could heal. Safe and secure.
And so, I did. Barely a shell of my former self- a whisper- and so, I hid in the cracks and the corners, watching the world through the reflections of others as I took the time to heal myself.

And that leads us up to a year not so long ago, when a young woman arrived at my sanctuary." Alysha paused, perhaps for dramatic effect, taking the opportunity to assure she had her audiences full attention.
Nyx was fixated on the other woman's story now, waiting with baited breath for the answer to her question whilst truly facinated with Alysha's story.

Alysha chuckled, scooting a little closer to her along the step they were sitting on.
"She was an incredibly smart woman- pretty too- but extremely intelligent. And pregnant. She was definitely, definitely pregnant.
But, you see, her baby was not well."
Alysha pulled a sad pout, shaking her head.
"No. Not well at all. Baby was too small, too sick... Wasn't going to make it, not at all.
But you see, the lady was clever. She'd already tried many things to help her child, explored every path; and in doing so, she'd found a legend. And so, she found me.

I confess, I knew something was wrong from the moment she entered the caves, before I'd even seen her. I could feel it.
... And something else.
I will admit, I don't care for children. I wouldn't usually care if a sickly baby makes it or not, that's how life works. The strong survive; that's how it is, and I would never argue that.
But for this child, I did.

For I felt something else with this child. A familiarity.
And then I realised- This baby was like me! Not quite, but enough. And that's all I wanted; someone who was enough."

A chill ran down Nyx's spine as sge caught the meaning of Alysha's words.

"It was a chance, one I couldn't let go... One I'd never forgive myself if I did. And so, I shared with the child some of my energy, that I'd gathered to try and recover myself to my full power. It was a sacrifice, but to me, it was worth it all.
A fair trade; she lives, and I get to be with her. Worth it, for one chance, to have someone who could be enough."