Saviors [A SVU and Bensler Fan Fic]

[Chapter Thirty-Two]

As I sat in my truck, I started to sob. Everything that I have blocked out for the past 11, almost 12 years came rushing back. I could see the night that a man in all black hit my mother on the back of her head with a brick. How I jumped into a bush, and I remembered scraping my legs from all of the branches. I could see the blood on my clothes when I knelt next to my mother and tried to get her to wake up. I remember that I sobbed and called her Mommy for the first time ever. My first word was Mom, not Mommy.

I heard someone knock on my window, and I lifted my head from my steering wheel and I saw Serena standing there, tears on her cheeks.

I slowly rolled down my window, and looked at her as I wiped tears from my cheeks.

"Serena, I really want to be your daughter again. I lost Marge, and she was the only true mother I have ever had. I guess that I want to become your daughter, instead of just being someone you were forced into raising." I breathed, and she nodded as she opened the door to my car.

"I want to be your mother so badly. You may be grown up, but there is so much more I want to do with you. I want to see you get married, and I want to watch you create a life with Elliot. I want you to think of me as another one of your mothers." She cried, and I quickly climbed from my truck and wrapped my arms around her body and hugged her tightly as I sobbed louder than before.

This day has been a whirlwind of emotions and memories, but right now all I want is to have a mother again, even if I know Serena could never replace the mother I lost.

[*]

"You're quiet." Elliot spoke, as we laid together in his backyard, watching as the sun set, but mostly so we could be together and not in a noisy house since Elliot's siblings came home for dinner.

"I'm tired." I replied, and he shook his head as he placed his lips to my temple.

"That's a lie, baby." He spoke, before kissing my temple. I sighed as I ran my hand over his chest.

"Remember when we were younger, and you started to ask more questions about how I came to live with the Cragens?" I asked, and Elliot nodded.

"Yeah. You kicked me in the balls because I wouldn't lay off. I haven't really asked since." He said with a small laugh.

"Yeah, sorry about that." I chuckled, as I let out a deep breath.

"Okay, so what happened?"

"Well, I remembered what happened today. When I saw Serena. I went into my old bedroom and we talked a bit, and it all came back to me." I spoke, and he held me a little closer, as if his arms could protect me from my past. And in reality, being with him can protect me from everything. He's my savior, and the only man who has been able to make me feel safe since my father decided to bail.

"Liv, you don't have to tell me, baby." He spoke, and I sighed.

"I have to though. You are marrying me, and you need to know what you are getting yourself into."

"Then what am I getting myself into?" He asked.

"Well, Serena was taking me through the park to drop me off at her dealer's house. She was going to abandon me there, so she could be free. While on our way to his house, she was attacked and I only lived because I jumped into a bush and hide. I don't know how the police found us, or anything like that. But Serena does remember being told when she woke up that she didn't have any rights to me anymore." I spoke, and he sighed softly.

"Do you want to keep seeing her?" He asked, and I nodded.

"I do. I want to have another mother. She won't replace the one I had, but she can help me in this part of my life. Do you get that? I mean like does it sound crazy?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"This time you do not sound crazy. Come on, baby. Lets go in and talk some more about this, but maybe with my Mom. She can help you take good sound steps, because we don't want you getting off track again."

[*]

Over the next week, I spent my lunches with Serena and we talked a lot. I also invited her to come and help me pick out my wedding dress. I wanted her to be involved in the whole wedding process, and I wanted her to get to know the family I got when I met Elliot.

But there was someone I was keeping this all from, because I was scared to tell Cynthia about any of this.

"Thanks for taking me to dinner." Cynthia smiled, as she and I sat together in a booth.

"This is a cheap place, so you're welcome." I grinned, and she laughed as she opened a sugar package and poured it into her coffee.

"So, what did I do to deserve a dinner with my best friend, and minus her fiance?" Cynthia questioned, and I sighed.

"I actually need to talk to you about some stuff." I spoke, and she nodded.

"Wedding related? Did you finally realize that your fiance is just one big blue eyed goofball?" She smirked, and I sighed as I tucked some hair behind my ear.

"Serena related." I spoke, and she went silent, and she stopped smiling also.

"Is Dad back with her?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"No, but I'm talking to her and trying to have a relationship with her." I spoke, quietly and timidly.

"Liv. Why would you do that?" She asked, her voice sharp.

"Because in the end, I want to know where I come from. I blocked out everything that had happened before I was adopted, and I just started to remember it. Cynthia, what if you had a chance to find your Mom and talk to her?" I asked, and she shook her head.

"She gave me up for adoption!" She exclaimed, and I sighed.

"When?" I questioned, and she swallowed hard.

"Right after I was born. There was something about her giving me up but keeping my twin. Some weird ass shit like that. So no, I wouldn't talk to her. Never." She spoke, as the waitress came over and started to ask us what we wanted.

Cynthia ordered, and then she pulled out one of her books from her college class, and started to study. While I stared down at my hands, as tears welled in my eyes.

Maybe I shouldn't have told her at all.

Hey guys! Thanks for reading! Please vote and comment all of your feedback below! :D