Saviors [A SVU and Bensler Fan Fic]

[Chapter One-Hundred-Thirty-Two]

I took Meredith back home, and I gave her a bath before taking her out back and pushing her on the swings. She kept squealing and laughing when I pushed her a little bit higher than the last time. I couldn't help but smile every time I got a look at my daughter's bright face and that smile that made my heart swell with so much love to my daughter. I was just hoping that when Cynthia looks at Max, she feels the same way. That she doesn't get anxious and upset when looking at her son, because she's scared that one day will be the last day she ever sees her son.

"Liv?" Cynthia questioned, as she walked through the back fence gate, and into the backyard.

"Yeah?" I questioned back.

"Can we talk about this now? I think I'm ready... I just needed some more sleep." Cynthia breathed, and I nodded.

"Of course we can talk about this all. Wanna go inside so you can put Max in the playpen?" I asked, and she shook her head before walking over and sitting on the swing beside Meredith's baby swing. I looked at her, before slowing down Meredith's swing and letting my daughter down. She ran over and started to climb up the few small steps to go down the small slide that Bernie and Joseph got her for her birthday.

"I've always had issues with men and relationships. You know that I've dated guys on and off since I was 12, and when I met Gil I thought that it was a real thing. Like, I was having his baby and I thought that I'd not only have Max but that I'd have more kids. I wanted a big family like the one you have. But then he just got so mean. He made it seem like I was some freak and he didn't even understand that I was pregnant and that is hard. He honestly made it seem like he didn't even learn about the female reproductive system." Cynthia sighed, and I nodded slowly as I stood by the swingset and looked at my sister.

"I really liked him, Cy. I was so happy that you were happy. You always asked me if Elliot had a friend that hadn't gotten a girl pregnant in high school. And you asked if we could set you up with someone because you were always wanting what I had with Elliot. I just wish you hadn't settled for someone less than you, but then again, no one is good enough for my twin. For the girl who is my best friend from even before we found out that we were twins."

"I guess we both have trust issues." She frowned, and I nodded.

"That's what you get when you are the product of rape." I sighed. I crossed my arms over my stomach and sighed softly.

"Do you ever wonder if Chris, Max, and Charlie will be good men?" She asked.

"Are you asking if  think our sons are going to be rapists?" I questioned, as I felt weak. I felt like I might fall over because I didn't want to think about my sons and nephew raping women.

"Yeah, I'm asking that. Because I wonder if our father's mother asked herself the same thing. If she wondered if her son, her sweet little boy, was going to rape a girl and conceive twin girls with that victim." Cynthia sighed.

"Rapists don't have something in their genes. There isn't a rape gene in my mind, maybe one day they will prove that it's a genetic disorder, but then what will happen then? Every single man or woman in jail that was convicted of rape will be released because they have a rape gene." I replied with a huff. I turned and walked over to where Meredith was now standing over a small daisy, and she was just watching as the flower swayed with the slight breeze.

"Liv-"

"I don't want to think that my baby, the one who hasn't even been born yet... I don't want to think that he got the rape gene from my father. Our father. I just want to think about how my son will be born and be sweet and adorable. How he will do great things in life just like his sisters and brother. Let's just stop talking about all of this shit." I spat, before picking up Meredith before leaning back down a bit and plucking the daisy up. I handed it to her before heading in inside as tears streamed down my cheeks.

[*]

I picked the kids up from school instead of just having them ride the bus home. I was thinking that being home that long with Cynthia was going to let her think it was okay to come to me and start talking about this all again. I couldn't stand another conversation about that all again.

"Hey, kids!" I exclaimed as I saw Mary walking Chris to their bus. They both stopped and eyed me and their sister for a few moments before they walked through the crowd of kids and to where we stood.

"What are you and Mere doing here, Mom?" Mary asked, as she passed me her backpack and took Meredith from me. I took Chris' bag also before we turned to head to the van.

"I thought that since I'm not working for a few days, that you guys would enjoy a ride home instead of taking the bus," I replied quietly.

"Did something happen?" Mary asked, and I shook my head.

"Nothing happened. I just want to apologize to you two for snapping a bit recently."

"Momma-" Chris started, but I shook my head.

"You both were dealing with a lot of stuff that I didn't know about. How you two had been there with Gil and how he was abusing your Aunt verbally when you two were there."

"He did hit her once or twice." Mary breathed.

"He's in jail, and he's going to be there for a while. He tried to take Max from your Aunt, and that is against the law because he has no rights to Max."

"How is Aunt Cy?" Mary asked, as I opened the back door to the van and helped Chris in before taking Meredith from Mary and started to buckle her in.

"It'll take some time, but eventually everything will get better. I promise."

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