Saviors [A SVU and Bensler Fan Fic]

[Chapter Seventy-Eight]

Christopher didn't want to go to school the next morning because he said he didn't want to have his little brother to be lonely without him. It was just another excuse for him not wanting to attend school. So after I dropped him off, I headed to the precinct. Fin was sitting in our sedan, and I didn't have a chance to even go upstairs to put my bag down, because he was flagging me down.

"Here is your tea, and now we have a stakeout." Fin sighed, as I sat down in the passenger seat.

"Fin, I have to talk to Munch today though." I sighed.

"About what?" He asked, as he pulled out and started to drive towards where we had to sit and watch a suspects house.

"Nothing, I guess it can wait." I sighed softly. I started to drink from my tea, and I knew that if I didn't tell John today, that there would be a big problem when I get home.

[*]

I was exhausted by the end of the day because doing a stakeout was boring. Like extremely borning. Fin had fallen asleep, so when I noticed that no one was going to come out and do something incriminating, I woke him up and we headed back to the precinct.

When we got there, we walked up together, and he brought up what I had said earlier.

"What do you have to talk to John about?" Fin sighed, as we waited for the elevator.

"Oh, shit." I sighed, realizing that I had forgotten about it.

"Liv? Are you okay? Like, you aren't sick or anything?"

"I'll tell you later... I'm sure that he'll yell at me and then I'll be forced to tell you."

"I'm your partner, you can tell me absolutely anything."

"I know, and thanks for being here for me. It's just I need to tell John first. I'll tell you in a bit." I spoke, before stepping into the elevator.

[*]

I knocked lightly on John's door, and after a few moments he called and told me to come in. I opened and shut the door before sighing.

"What can I do for you, Benson?" He questioned, and I frowned.

"I have to tell you something that I don't think will make you happy. So, if you are pissed off, just yell at me. I can deal with it."

"Who did you kill?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"No, instead of taking someone's life, I'm bringing one into the world... I'm pregnant, Captain."

"Pregnant?" He questioned, and I nodded.

"Yeah, like there is a kid in my stomach..." I spoke, awkwardly. John has known me since I was just a kid, and this was just weird... telling him that I'm pregnant means that I also told him I have an active sex life with my husband.

"Okay... well I haven't had to deal with something like this before." He breathed, and I nodded as I awkwardly stood and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I haven't had to deal with anything like this before either. It's weird, I know it. And it's hard... So, I can go on desk duty if that helps." I spoke.

"No, not yet. I don't want to put you in harms..." He stopped speaking and swallowed hard.

"The Amy Strong case... you were pregnant during the shooting, huh?"

"Yes, sir."

"Shit. Alright. Desk duty it is."

"I'm sorry, Captain."

"Don't apologize, Liv. Just take care of yourself, alright? And I guess I'll put this in your file and contact my boss. Tell him that you are on desk duty and the reason why."

"Okay. I'm gonna go home now. Uh, goodnight."

I started to leave, but then John stopped me. He grabbed my arm and turned me towards him. That is when I noticed the tears in his eyes. This man rarely cries, but I don't know why he is now.

"Congrats, kid. Your parents would've been so excited to be grandparents again." He spoke, before hugging me quickly. I walked from his office and quickly walked to the locker room where I started to sob.

I have been so busy dealing with work, Cynthia, Serena, and being a mother and wife, that I had started to forget about my parents. And I forgot that this baby that I'm carrying was going to be their second grandchild.

[*]

"You're late." Elliot breathed, as I sank down onto the couch next to him. I had driven all the way to Albany just to check on my parent's graves. I also just felt like talking to them I guess. 

"Yeah, about four hours late." I sighed.

"Where were you?" Elliot asked, as he wrapped his arm around my waist and placed his fingers against my stomach.

"Albany."

"Albany!" He exclaimed, and I frowned as I snuggled closer to him.

"I needed to just be close to my parents I guess."

"Babe, why didn't you call me?"

"Because I didn't want to. I just needed to stop thinking about everything. I'm starting to forget my parents, El. Like, it's killing me to think about not being able to remember what they look like without looking at pictures. And I used to be able to smell my parents on that quilt on our bed, no matter how many times we have washed it, but I can't anymore. And this is the house I grew up in! And I can't even remember the holidays were celebrated in her. Or that Christmas where I got Bailey and it was the first Christmas I shared with you." I whimpered, as tears ran down my cheeks.

"Baby..."

"I miss them so much. And having your parents and Serena is great, but I miss my Mom and Dad. I know that I will really be missing my Mom when it's time for the baby to come."

"I don't know what to say. So I'm just gonna hold you. Is that okay?"

"It's perfect. I just..." I couldn't continue speaking because I started to sob. Elliot held me for a couple of hours and didn't let go once. He just held me and told me that he loved me so much, and no matter if I cry or if I scream, that would never change.

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