The Emotionless Cold Nerd (Completed)

Chapter 9

After the dinner, pinili kong tumambay sa rooftop. Sumimsim ako ng wine saka tumingala sa kalangitin at pumikit. Nakakagaan sa pakiramdam ang napakaraming bituwin sa kalangitan at ang masarap na simoy ng hangin.

"As expected, dito nga kita makikita." Wika ni Gavin ngunit hindi ko na siya pinagkaabalahang tapunan ng tingin.

Iminulat ko ang mga mata. Kita ko sa peripheral vision ko ang pag-upo niya sa katapat kong upuan kung saan napapagitnaan kami ng centre table. Nagsalin ito ng wine sa isa pang wine glass. Hinayaan ko na lang siya. Nasa tamang edad naman na siya para uminom.

"What's bothering you?" Tanong nito.

"Nothing. I just miss this place." Sagot ko saka siya nilingon at nginitian tapos ay muling ibinalik sa kalangitan na puno ng napakaraming bituin ang tingin.

Ramdam ko ang mga titig niya sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung para saan 'yon.

"Ate?" Tawag niya sa akin matapos ang ilang minutong katahimikan.

"Hmm?" Tugon ko. Ipinikit kong muli ang mga mata nang dumaan ang sariwang hangin.

"Can I escape from this life we have?" He asked. "I hate being an assassin ate. I hate killing people."

Nagbuntong hininga ako. "You can't escape from it Gavin. Being an assassin is in our blood. Try to escape once, I swear, it will chase you. Believe me, I tried it many times. I'd tried to escape from it again and again but in the end, I always coming back and accept the responsibility. 'Cause even in the other places, it still chase me. Our enemies never leave me. I hide myself in so many country but they never stop searching me until they can't kill me. So I have no choice but to kill them. That's why there's no reason to escape from it 'cause we born to kill. Only thing we could do is to be strong." Nakangiti ko siyang binalingan ng tingin nakatungo siya at hindi nakaligtas sa mga mata ko ang ilang butil ng luhang nalaglag mula sa mga mata niya. "Be strong Gavin. Fight for yourself. Fight for your future and fight for the people you cherish."

Malungkot ang mga matang nag-angat siya sa akin ng tingin. "How can I fight if I already surrender? I already lost my hope ate." Malungkot nitong sabi.

Ginulo ko ang buhok niya habang naroon pa rin ang ngiti sa mga labi ko. Trying to hide the sadness I'm feeling for him."Don't give up that easy Gavin. We still have God. Maniwala ka sa mga kaya niyang gawin. 'Cause in this world, he's the mighty, the king, the wise and the merciful and he's the only one who could help you. So never let those weaknesses eats you. Don't lose your hope and always remember that god is always there." Itinuro ko ang puso niya. "He will never leave you. He's always there in your side to give you hope and strength. That's why keep fighting okay?"

Malungkot itong ngumiti. "I'm sorry ate. I'm just tired of killing people. Every time I ended someone else's life, it feels I'm so heartless to do that with them. It feels I don't have the rights to kill them."

"But if you don't kill, they will kill you."

Malungkot itong tumango tango. "Some people wants be me but they just don't know that I want to be them."

Pinakatitigan ko siyang mabuti. "Gavin?" Nag angat siya ng tingin. "Do you love yourself?" Mabilis ang kaniyang pagtugon.

"Of course ate. Why you asked?"

"Then why you want to be in someone else's life than to be yours?"

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "Ibang usapan na 'yon ate. I love myself, but I hate the life I have. I can't also accept that I born to kill. And I can't accept that I'm a killer."

Nangalumbaba kong sinalubong ang kaniyang mga tingin. "Wala tayong ibang magagawa kung hindi ang tanggapin na sa ganitong buhay tayo ipinanganak. Wala tayong ibang magagawa kung hindi ang magpakatatag para patuloy na mabuhay dahil ito ang kapalaran natin."