𝗔𝗶𝗻'𝘁 𝗡𝗼 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝘆 𝗟𝗼𝘄 𝗘𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 🤍

•𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 265 🥀

•🌹•

Y/N's POV, January 29th 2005

2005, a year which would go down in Crüe history. The tour, which they're calling the 'Red, White and Crüe- Better Live Than Dead', started on Valentines Day and lasted until October, everyone was excited to get back out on the road.

Tommy was still recording his solo album but only has two session left after his one day and would have finished it by the end of next week. He'd invited me to the session today so, I'd go over there at midday and stay until the end.

But it was only ten right now and I'd only just finished breakfast, everyone was down here, Nikki and the kids and we were all just watching TV when something came on the TV which got Nikki talking about his girlfriends before he met me, something he'd never really spoken about much because they weren't important to him anymore because it wasn't love.

I did like hearing about it though because it was Nikki before I was in his life. Although his life before me wasn't that great, I did have curiosity about it but didn't have much need to ask about it anymore as I knew pretty much everything important.

Nikki spoke about this one girlfriend he had came to LA, ending it with her because of moving from Seattle to the Strip. He told me how he met her and what their relationship was, not that it was an emotional relationship, Nikki said it was mostly physical because it used to only be about the sex which everyone knew already.

I got quite invested in the story, and eventually found myself asking "Was she nice?"

"I guess... but anyone compared to you falls short. It wasn't a real relationship, so... niceness wasn't something I ever really cared about anyways, nothing before you was ever real, at the time I thought differently and thought the relationships I had were normal relationships but in reality I was just filling up some loneliness... I do wonder what the girls I used to be with are doing now."

"I have those moments too... the ex boyfriends I have, I wonder where they got in life and if they see me with you and what they think about that, same with old school friends both from here and from England."

"You can guarantee they're not doing as good as we are."

"We're lucky to be where we are. Don't be arrogant." I scold with a pointed look.

"I know, I know, I was just fucking around. To be honest and I mean this in the nicest way, the friends I used to have are probably all dead or neck deep in drug and alcohol problems because that's just what they were like... they were the kinda people who'd never change for the better. I hate that I associated myself with people like that but I was so desperate for friends and acceptance that I'd rather have had shitty friends than no friends at all."

"You could have found proper friends."

"I don't know if I could have, I put up a front of being unapproachable, I acted like a dick so people wouldn't come near me because I didn't want people to hurt me... but acting like that only attracted similar people so I just had to act a certain way then eventually had to fully commit to that attitude because it was either act like an asshole, do shitty things or have no money and no way to get a better life. I backed myself in a corner because I had no friends who'd help me out as when it came down to it they only cared about themselves."