𝗔𝗶𝗻'𝘁 𝗡𝗼 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝘆 𝗟𝗼𝘄 𝗘𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 🤍

•𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 274 🥀

•🌹•

Y/N's POV, December 24th 2005

It was the day before Christmas now and I was still with Vince, I was definitely staying here for Christmas, how much longer after this though, I wasn't sure. I never planned to stay with Vin this long but I just wasn't ready to face Nikki yet.

Nik had given his gifts and cards to me and the kids, my dad dropped them in a couple of days ago, all the presents were under Vince's Christmas tree and I hadn't opened Nikki's card yet, the kids had opened theirs but I'm yet to open mine. I knew there would be an apology inside it and for some reason I was nervous to read it.

In terms of Christmas, my parents were coming over here tomorrow for Christmas, dinner, presents all that other stuff and spend all day with Vince the kids and myself then once they'd done here they'd pay Nikki a visit later on tomorrow evening just to see if he's okay and talk to him, according to my dad, he and Nikki had been talking almost every day, I think that was to just keep Nikki in a good mental place.

Nik's mental health had always been delicate and I felt like a bitch for not being with him and for being here but I didn't know what else to do other than what I was doing. It was hard to look him in the eye after him saying to me for decades that I was his everything, the only one he ever wanted and all that stuff to then have him go with other women makes it impossible to face him without feeling like I'd been lied too despite knowing that wasn't the case.

It was going to be weird to not have Nikki around for Christmas, and it would certainly be strange for the kids but they hadn't asked if they could spend the day with Nikki and when I did ask them that question a week ago they never gave me an answer so I just settled on a 'no'.

What happened with Nikki has been hard on the kids, I knew it was going to be but it really had affected them.

Nico and Zeta the first few days when we first got here weren't themselves, Blaze was pissed at Nikki but was still being mostly normal, though the younger two weren't, they hardly spoke and would hardly eat and after this went on I just got concerned and tried to talk to them, but neither of them would tell me, then I tried to get Vince on the case to see if they'd tell him but like me, he got nothing.

Eventually on that third night before Nico and Zeta went to bed I sat and had a talk with them and finally got them to open up about what was bothering them and what they said shattered me.

They thought that because of what Nikki did, that he didn't love us anymore, me, Blaze or them and of course that was never true. When they told me that, I told them that Nikki loved all of us more than anything but I knew me saying all that wasn't enough so told them to ring Nikki and tell him what they told me, it took them a little while to agree to that but eventually they did.

When Nikki heard what they were thinking I heard in his voice that he was trying his best not to cry and it was hard for me to hear because I could only imagine how that much have made Nikki feel, having his own children say that they didn't think he loved them anymore.

I didn't speak to Nikki I just had him on speaker phone on the landline in Vin's bedroom and let the kids say what they needed too and let him say what they needed to hear.

I hadn't spoken to Nikki the entire time I'd been here, Nico and Zeta did every day because they needed too but Blaze didn't and I didn't. Blaze needed more time than the others, he'd read the bands autobiography, I'd told him things, Nikki had, Vince had, he knew everything that he could possibly know about Nikki and I and this I think just knocked Blaze around a bit.