Love In The Lights (Justin Bieber Story)

Chapter 21

YOUR POINT OF VIEW
(1 week later)
this week has been so stressful i have done nothing but work all day everyday. i get up at four o'clock in the morning and i am out of the house by half four get to where ever the photo shoot is at five am, work hard at the shoot until around 10 or 11 pm, and some times i even have two shoots in one day then i go home eat and then sleep and do it all again the next day and honestly it is fucking hard. i have had so many bookings recently and this is going to be my routine for the next few weeks. but i just need to suck it up and work my ass off. i have not had time to see Justin in a few days and when i have he comes round and i just fall asleep on him i feel bad but he says that it is fine. i have not seen or spoken to Kendall or Zack and i don't want to.. in some ways without them being in my life there is no drama.

but today i was travelling further and the journey took an hour by car and i have to be there for five am. my alarm starting ringing at three o'clock in the morning meaning that i only got four hours sleep and for me to start of the cycle all over again. i slammed my hand against the alarm clock turning off the alarm. i didn't dare to close my eyes again knowing that i would fall asleep instantly, this week is really taking it's toll on my body, i have no energy and i just need to rest for at least one day. today i have two photo shoots and i am really not in the mood. i rolled out of bed and didn't bother showering considering i had one last night. i left the light off in my room not wanting me to blind myself from the brightness, i pulled out any item's of clothing from my wardrobe not caring what i was wearing, i just threw it on i didn't put on any make up or anything i just left my bed hair to be and walked out grabbing my bag that had my sunglasses-- not that i would need them at this time in the morning-- purse, keys and my phone with other things stuffed in the bottom like pieces of paper, lip balm. practically anything you would need you could most likely find in my bag. i sighed heavily once again before stepping out of my front door not bothering to wake anyone to tell them that i am leaving because i just don't want to, right now i am not in the mood to talk to anyone but i know that whenever i get to work i will have to plaster my happy face on and pretend like i am fully awake when really i'm not, i'm fucking tired. as soon as i got into the car i drove straight to McDonald's thank the lord for 24/7 McDonald's i went through the drive through 'hello how can we help you?' the women standing at the first gate asked me looking up towards me 'can i just have a regular coffee?' i asked 'sure, sorry to be rude are you YN?' she asked as she began to make my coffee 'yes' i said trying to fake a smile 'wow, here you are that'll be $2' she said as i smiled and handed her the money and drove off. i wasn't in the food to eat i don't even have enough energy for that. now to brace myself for the hour drive.

After arriving at the set for my photo shoot with ten half an hour to spare i sat down in a chair in the make up room ans slept. as soon as my eyes shut i was asleep.

'YN, YN, YN wake up' Lacey said poking me 'sorry' i mumbled rubbing my eyes. it was now five am and honestly that little sleep didn't me any more if anything i just feel more tired than i was before 'hair and make up, go' she said pointing to the other chair where the hair stylist was waiting for me patiently 'hey sweetie' she said welcoming 'hey, sorry for making you wait' i said sitting down 'it's fine honey i understand that you are tired' she said as she lightly brushed away all the knots in my hair. i decided to tweet as i just haven't had much time to do that lately 'so tired, need sleep! but work calls' was one and a few minutes later my phone started to ring and a smile formed on my face, a real smile when i saw that it was Justin. i put it on loudspeaker so that the hair stylist could continue with it 'hey' i yawned into the phone 'hey baby you sound tired' he said concerned into the phone 'i am, but less about me.. what are you doing up at this time?!' i asked generally not sure 'scooter is making me rehearse even longer today for tour because i can't get this stupid steps i'm just so stressed' he sighed into the phone 'i know baby, but it'll all be worth it' i said trying to make him feel better 'i hope, when do you get off work today?' 'not til late i think around ten or eleven again' i yawned into the phone again 'you need to stop working so hard i am actually worried about you' he said with his voice sounding generally concerned 'i'm fine i promise you' i assured him 'when am i going to see you?' he asked dropping the topic of conversation knowing that i didn't want to talk about it anymore 'i don't even know according to Lacey this will be my schedule for the next few weeks' i said sighing heavily into the phone 'that sucks, i miss you' he said 'i miss you too, you can come to mine at about ten today and we can just watch films or something?' i asked him 'i'll be there' he told me 'okay i have to go because i am getting called for make up' i said 'okay baby, i love you' he sang into the phone 'i love you too bye' i giggled back 'bye baby' was the last thing i heard before i hung up 'aww you two are adorable!' the make up artist said as she began my make up i just giggled in response 'no seriously what you have seems real not like fake and put on, it's not often you find that' she praised 'well thank you' i smiled.

'that's good, now face the other direction!' the photographer told me. right now i am at my second photo shoot which is a swimwear shoot and i love all the bikini's i am being put in, just right now i don't feel comfortable in my body to be doing this shoot but i have no choice. the shoot is based on the beach which has been shut down for the shoot and there were crowds of people watching which only added pressure for me to do well. i feel pretty but just no necessarily confident, i am wearing:http://www.riverisland.com/Online/women/swimwear--beachwear/bikinis/red-flower-3d-flower-bikini-top--625622 with matching red bikini bottom's. the wind was blowing through my long curly brown hair as the sun bounced of my skin enhancing my light tan that i had caught over the past weeks from running around. 
it was around 9pm now and the sun was setting and i had just got off of my shoot early and i am so relieved that i get to go home now. as soon as i got home i went straight in a jumped into a nice relaxing bubble bath i decided to text Justin 'hey i am home early, want to come over now?xxxx' i sent the text and minutes passed and still no reply. further minutes passed and there was still no reply. that's strange he always replies instantly or within a few minutes. i just shrugged it off not wanting to stress my self out anymore he is coming over in an hour anyway. i just sat in the bath letting thoughts flood my mind, anything and everything but i was relaxed and i was calm for the first time this week everything was peaceful and calm. nobody was screaming or arguing and right now i am ready to cuddle up to my boyfriend on the couch whilst watching some films. after my relaxing bath i jumped out and threw on:http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag;=&catalogId=33057&storeId=12556&productId=5848173&langId;=-1&categoryId;=&searchTerm=runnershorts&pageSize=20 with a white tank top. right now i don't care what i look like i am just going for comfort, i didn't bother applying anymore make up and allowed my hair to dry naturally and drape over my shoulders. i wondered down stairs and found my mum sipping on a coffee 'hey mum' i mumbled not realizing how much energy it took to speak 'hey honey how was work?' she asked cheerfully 'tiring' i answered blankly 'go to bed then' she said in a 'DUH' tone 'Justin is coming round' i said 'sweetie it's eleven o'clock' she said sounding confused. WAIT.. eleven o'clock i didn't realize how long i was in the shower for.. oops. hang on, Justin was supposed to be here an hour ago? he is never late for anything? in fact he is always early whenever we are meeting? what has gotten into him? i looked at my phone and still i had no reply from him, i checked his twitter and he had tweeted 'SWWAAAGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYY' an hour ago and that was it. i don't know whether to be worried about him or pissed off due to the fact he blew me off. but my brain decided to go with pissed off so i decided to go and watch a film without him. and before i knew it my eyes were getting heavier and heavier before the were shut as i was welcomed into a deep well deserved sleep.

JUSTIN'S POINT OF VIEW
fuck this, fuck life, fuck everything. i have so many emotions flying through my mind right now i don't know what to do. i don't know what to believe. 'aye fredo!' i called down the phone to him 'hey man wassup?' he replied 'not much, what you say we go to a club man, i need to get out?' i suggested 'i want to, but Scooter bro you know what he is like' Fredo said sounding worried 'don't be a pussy bro lets go' i said 'okay okay but if i loose my job i'm blaming you' 'dude you won't i'll get a car to take us there, see you in a bit bro!' i called out before i hung up. i jumped into the shower washing all my worries away. why do i over think? why do i believe everything i am told? i don't know, and i don't want to but sometimes it is hard. but tonight, FUCK IT.
we pulled up at a club and by the time we got in the lights ere low and dark and everyone was too drunk out of their minds to notice it was me which is good because right now i don't want to be noticed 'aye bro ain't you supposed to be seeing your girl tonight?' fredo asked 'nah' i said although i was, but nope instead i'm in a club. we both ordered a beer each i mean what harm can one beer do?
9 beers and some other drinks that i have no clue what they were later and i was fucked. i had no clue where i was or what was surrounding me.

YOUR POINT OF VIEW
I was woken up by knocking at my door which scared the shit out of me, i sat up and saw that i was still on the couch i must have fallen asleep there and not in my bed. my mum must have not wanted to wake me. the knocking on my door continued as i heard footsteps coming down the stairs. i walked out of the living room and mum and Josh where walking down 'be careful opening it' my mum warned me as i opened the door slightly to first see who it was just in case it was like a mass murderer. but no at first i though my eyes were deceiving me but they were not it was Justin standing at my door and he looked drunk i opened the door fully and just stared at him 'baby!' he yelled pulling me into his chest, he stunk of alcohol and it wasn't attractive 'what are you doing here?' i asked still pissed off with him from earlier 'i missed you' he said trying to kiss me but i avoided it 'you're drunk i'm taking you home' i said pulling him out and dragging him behind me 'i'm not drunk and why won't you kiss me?' he slurred as he struggled to put his seat belt on right so i leaned over to help him only for him to poke my boobs and right now i am not in the fucking mood 'don't' i told him firmly 'what are you doing? why are you drunk?' i questioned him focusing my eyes on the road 'i love you baby' was his reply as he once again tried to kiss me 'Justin i'm driving' i snapped at him and he soon stopped. when we pulled up to his house i dragged him out and rummaged through his pockets to find his keys and when i did i opened the door and Justin stumbled forward almost knocking me off my feet 'you need some water' i said as i walked into the kitchen with Justin hot on my tail following me like a little lost dog 'here drink it' i said handing him a glass of water 'sit on my lap' Justin said as he managed to smirk even through he was heavily intoxicated 'no now drink' i said 'i won't drink it until you get your little ass over her and sit' he said winking although he looked like a twat and had a smirk plastered all over your face. i did what he said and sat on his lap so he would drink the god damned water. once he was done he began kissing my neck sloppily, sucking and gently biting and for me that wasn't a turn on knowing me was drunk 'stop, you blew me off because you went to get drunk so don't try and butter me up' i snapped 'i love you baby so much' he said is that his answer for everything? i sighed and began to drag him up to his room to try and make him sleep 'where are we going?' Justin whined 'you are going to sleep' i tole him and for some reason he laughed. once we were in his room he just flopped down his bed and sighed 'i can't do this anymore' he said as he sat up and stumbled across the room taking his shoes off 'do what?' i asked being more sensitive now and helping him 'this, you me' he said drunkingly pointing to me then back to him. i froze like my whole body became still was he breaking up with me? 'w-w-wha-why?' i stuttered out 'i love you so much it hurts and i just don't feel like you love me as much as i love you' he said tears filling his eyes 'are you stupid? you don't know how much i love you?' i asked tears now beginning to fill my eyes but i refuse to let let fall as i stood up and looked at him not knowing what to do 'i'm sorry' he mumbled in a drunken manner 'fuck you' i said as i stormed out still fighting the tears. my emotions were ruined, i love him more than i have ever loved anyone i felt things for him that i have never felt for anyone else and for him to throw that back in my face is horrible. as soon as i got back into my car i cried i cried and cried and cried all the way home and when i got home my mum was waiting on the stairs for me and as soon as she saw me she looked and me both worriedly and confused 'he broke up with me' i said as i began to cry even harder this time as i ran into my mums arms and she comforted me. she helped me up to my room and she climbed into bed with me as she stroked my hair just like when i was younger trying to sooth me as i explained 'he said he loved me so much but he didn't think i loved him back a-and t-that he couldn't do i-it anymore' i whispered trying to regain my breathe and refrain from any more tears falling although that was impossible. My mum sat there and held me and hugged me tight telling me that everything would be okay. but i didn't believe her, not for one moment. without Justin i felt empty i felt broken like i was useless and un loved, like i had no purpose. my heart was taken out of my chest and ripped apart right in front of my eyes by the boy i love and i don't think i knew just how badly i loved him until now.