Chapter 27

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JUSTIN'S POINT OF VIEW

scooter is letting me cut rehearsals short today to go and see YN honestly i'm worried about her, they way she was crying the other day broke my heart she never reacts like that and honestly she never really opened up about her father much before and now i understand everything. it is hard for me to understand what she is going through i mean yeah i don't see my dad often but he is still with us and i do have the opportunity to see him but she doesn't that opportunity has been taken away from her and i can't even begin to imagine how that must feel. when she was crying in my arms she seemed so vulnerable and scared and honestly i didn't know what to do. i text YN earlier this morning telling her i will be with her but she hasn't replied which is only making me more and more worried because she always replies and i know that by now she must be awake and would have read it. the fact that she is in that massive house alone scares me anything could happen to her and nobody would know. with all this thoughts flying around in my head i forgot we were at the studio 'Justin can i speak to you for a minute?' Scooter asked me pulling my attention away from my previous thoughts 'er yeah' i said walking over to him. scooter patted my shoulder as we walked out of the dance studio and down the hall 'what's up?' i asked 'i think i should be asking you that' he said raising an eyebrow at me 'what do you mean?' i asked a little confused although i could make out where he was coming from 'you're not focused, what's up?' he asked me in a fatherly tone, i sighed not knowing whether i should tell him everything because i don't know if YN would want anyone to know but then again i can trust Scooter with my laugh and he would never tell anyone 'it's YN' i mumbled he let out a groan 'oh god you arguing?' he said dropping his head backwards 'no! it's just today is the day that her dad died' i said quietly Scooter just stayed silently 'shit' he said above a whisper and i nodded in agreement looking down 'yeah but her mum and brother have gone on holiday and left her' i said 'without her?' Scooter asked as if he couldn't quite believe it 'yeah something about not having time off work but like the other day when i saw her she was like in tears and tears and she didn't stop crying for like hours and i'm worried about her' i said i don't think i have realized until know how protective over YN i actually am 'she'll be fine' scooter assured me and as much as i wanted to believe it i just couldn't i had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me something wasn't right 'i don't know man you should have seen her' i said bouncing my leg up and down to try and relax me but all i could think about was YN and making sure she was okay 'just a few more hours kid don't worry everything will be okay just.. call her?' he said 'I've tried but it just rings to answer machine' i told him getting back up to walk back into the studio not wanting to carry on the conversation knowing my mind will just always think of the worst possible.

after what seemed like years of dancing my ass off trying to focus i was finally allowed to leave and even though Scooter wasn't happy with me i didn't care i had other things on my mind like making sure YN was okay.

YOUR POINT OF VIEW

as soon as i parked my car in the driveway i burst out into tears, i was angry.. angry at myself for no apparent reason. this year it has hit me hard the fact i will never get to see him again. i cried so hard that my stomach began to ache from straining in so much but some how i couldn't stop the tears from aggressively falling down my face. i could hear the flashes of camera's outside my house as more and more paparazzi arrived outside my house clearly wanting to know why i was crying and no doubt they would find a way to blame Justin for my tears. i climbed out the car and walked over to them, my mind wasn't thinking but my body was just doing whatever it felt like and before i knew it words were spilling out of my mouth 'please can you leave my house' i said firmly still using my manners and still crying, they just all ignored me and flashed camera's into my face they all pushed and shoved trying to get near me until one of then fell into me and hit me on the head with their camera 'OUCH!' i yelled at them getting angrier and angrier 'leave me the fuck alone' i snapped at them that only caused them to take more and more pictures of me meaning more and more flashed which only increased the head ache i had no gained from being hit in the head with a camera. i began to feel really light headed so i just took a deep breathe in and walked away. i could feel my body begin to shake as i placed the key in the door allowing me to open it and let my self into my big empty house where there was only me and i wanted to find some way to drown my sorrows. i didn't want to make myself feel better i wanted to cry and i wanted to be upset to show my dad that i love him and i care for him still even though he is no longer with me. i walked slowly and steadily over to the kitchen grabbing ice and placing it on the now very swollen and red bump on my forehead. i winced at the pain flushing through my entire body as i applied the ice to the bump. my head was hurting so much that i had to sit on the floor to to and stop the dizziness the room was spinning round around making me want to throw up, i closed my eyes in hope that it would stop the spinning but my head continued to spin and i just stayed still taking deep breathes in. 

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