Love In The Lights (Justin Bieber Story)

Chapter 164

YOUR POINT OF VIEW

"I have to go back on tour" Justin said, his voice so quiet, it should have been inaudible.

Were my ears deceiving me?

Or did he just say he has to go back on tour?

Because I'm pretty sure that's what he said.

I didn't know what to say, I had no clue how to answer or even respond to him, I had to many things racing through my mind.

When is he going?

For how long?

Is he going to be here when Dylan is born?

I didn't know what to think, and apparently I had been staring at Justin for longer than I knew.

My eyes were glued to his lips as if I was waiting for him to say a simple "joking" and tell me how he wasn't leaving, but some how I didn't think that was going to happen.

"Baby, c-can you say something? P-please?" Justin's voice cracked once again, showing his discomfort to the situation.

"When?" I asked, gulping away my previous thought and worries, I couldn't avoid this conversation- no matter how much I wanted to. I looked up to meet Justin's gaze, only to find out that he was doing everything he could to avoid my gaze. His eyes would look at something in the room, then back to me and when he found out I was looking at him, he would look away immediately.

I could tell this was hard on him, but he had to understand that this was hard on me as well- if not harder on me, I mean, come on! Its hard! When my husband is about to disappear for however lone and leave me- his almost eight month pregnant wife- at home.

"I er- Scooter said I have to leave in three days" he mumbled. Three days?! He could of at least given us some warning!

But then again, I probably should have seen this coming, I mean his album has done so well, I guess I just don't want him to leave me when I'm coming so close to the end of my pregnancy.

"Three days?" I whispered, repeating Justin to make sure I heard him right. Justin just nodded in response.

"H-how long? Do you have to go for?" I mumbled almost afraid to hear his response, but either way, I wasn't going to be happy, I didn't want him to leave. But that didn't mean I was going to leave him, not now. Not ever.

I guess me not wanting him to leave was just me being a little selfish, but could you blame me?

"Scooter said j-just over a month" he murmured quietly, making my heart stop, in just over a month, I would be a week- or possibly even days- I could be going into labor, whilst Justin could be somewhere on the other side of the world.

I needed to get some air, it felt as if everything was closing in on me, sounds pathetic but I couldn't help it. He was potentially not going to be with me when I gave birth, that was a big thing for me. I wanted him there, no. I NEED him there. He might not be able to see his own son the moment he is born, i-i just... Need to think about this. Although, no matter how much I think or how much I talk about it, there is nothing I can do, Justin has a job to do, and regardless of the fact I'm his wife, I would never be able to hold him back from doing what he loves, no matter how much it would pain me... I could just never do it.

Standing up from the bed, without saying a word I let out a long, shaky breath that I was unaware I was holding, fighting back the tears as I walked out of the room.

Hormones were definitely getting the best of me.

I walked shakily out of the room and walked down the stairs and into the living room, I took a deep breath in before exhailing loudly, I walked over to the corner of the couch before sitting down and letting a few silent tears out.

I didn't know what I could do, because nothing would be able to happen, I have no input in this, so really my points are completely and utterly invalid.

I could hear Justin's footsteps following me, but I just chose to ignore them. Even though I knew ignoring them wouldn't make him go away I was going to have to speak to him no matter what.

"YN, come on, please just talk to me, I know you're annoyed but-" he began as he walked towards me as he crouched down on the floor in front of me, desperately searching for eye contact, eye contact that I was so desperately avoiding.

"I'm not annoyed" I cut him off "you're not?" He asked shocked "no" I promised "I just... I don't know" I mumbled, wiping away another tear that had fallen.

"Don't cry baby, you know I can't stand it when you do" Justin begged, but that only made me want to cry more.

"It's j-just you're g-going away for a long time again, b-but I don't want you to, a-and what if I gave birth when you're not here? What if you don't get to see him until you c-come back?" I sobbed as I shook, taking quick breaths in and out.

"Hey, no, stop thinking like that" Justin mumbled, pushing hair behind my ear and kissing my forehead "I-i can't help it" I stuttered, shaking my head.

"Tell me what you're worried about" Justin said softly as he sat up on the couch next to me "I'm just worried something will happen, because you've been here since the start of the pregnancy and then for you just to go... Would be a shock I guess" I mumbled.

"Just tell me know, do you want me to go? Because if you don't want me to, I won't go, you know that. You are my main priority" Justin explained "no, Justin, I want you to go" I mumbled "y-you do?" He asked, clearly shocked by my response "yes, I'm not going to stop you from living your dream" I sighed.

"YN" Justin sighed "how many times do I have to tell you, yes, I love performing but you are the thing that means that most to me, so I would drop the tour for you, without a thought" he explained.

"I'll be fine, a-as long as you are going to be back before I give birth" I said looking up at him "you know I'm going to be there baby" he laughed.

"Truth is, i don't really want to go" he sighed "what? Why?" I asked "because, I have more important things right now, you, Dylan, so I think I'm going to say to Scooter about not touring" he explained "not at all?" I asked "don't think so, I don't want to leave you when we need each other the most, plus, not every artist tours with every album they make, so I think people will understand if I don't, they know I'm starting a family" Justin smiled small

"Well, just so you know, whatever decision you make, I'll be there for you" I promised him "good, because I have a feeling Scooter will kill me" Justin laughed as he picked up my legs and placed them over his, keeping his hands over my thighs, rubbing them up and down lightly.

"I don't want you to not go on tour just because of me though" I mumbled "baby" Justin shook his head "I've been thinking about this for a while to be honest, I knew Scooter was going to try and get me to tour, but he knows that I'm not so available any more I have main priorities and I need to put other things that my work first" he explained "but he will probably be a little disappointed but I'm sure he will get over it" Justin stiffed a laugh.

"And hey, maybe next time you tour me and Dylan could tag along" I giggled "you know, I like the sound of that" Justin said softly before placing a kiss on my cheek.