Love In The Lights (Justin Bieber Story)

Chapter 71

YOUR POINT OF VIEW

I woke up confused; I didn’t know what to say or think for that matter was everything just a dream… was my mum pregnant because right now I just hope that it’s a dream. I slowly fluttered my eyes open and saw Justin looking down at me with pure concern in his eyes making me look down and just bury my head into his chest because reality had hit me, my mum was pregnant and I basically ran away because I hate her, I hate how she betrayed me and my dad. It just doesn’t make sense to me how she could be so… heartless? ‘morning baby’ Justin whispered softly in my ears as his grip around my tightened pulling my body even closer to his as if he was afraid, tears were falling from my eyes once again just at the thought of how fucked up my life is, I need a break but there is nowhere to escape to. Justin could tell I was crying from the fact I was crying on his bare chest ‘shhh baby no don’t cry’ he soothed as he pulled away from me and looked at me but I didn’t want to look at him because I was worried, worried that I might resent him, be angry at him at the fact that his life is so perfect and mine is so fucked up, I envy how perfect everything is for him ‘YN please can you tell me what’s wrong I want to help you’ he begged me as his voice cracked sounding as if he was going to cry and that breaks my heart every time, just the thought of Justin being upset makes me cry so fighting against everything my head was telling me to do, I went with my heart and looked up at him as my bottom lip trembled as I tried to control the many salty tears falling from my eyes ‘I can’t do it anymore’ I whispered fighting back the tears ‘do what baby?’ he asked in a soft voice pushing any remaining strands of hair behind my ear ‘everything I just need a break’ I said as my voice cracked ‘f-from me?’ Justin stuttered as his grip tightened on me as if he was scared to let me go like he couldn’t lose me… not again. I quickly and violently shook my head making sure he knew this wasn’t about him and as much I was pushing him away but not telling him what was wrong I needed him. I needed him to be there for me and tell me that everything was going to be okay and that no matter what it was he was going to be there for me just like he does every time anything bad happens to me. That’s another thing I envy him for, nothing ever goes wrong for him, he is always happy whereas I seem to have such bad luck everything always goes wrong for me, and I’m only happy when I’m with Justin so the thought of Justin going back on tour in just over two weeks scares me because I know I will be alone.

As soon as I told Justin I wasn’t talking about him he loosened his grip on me slightly and let a sigh of relief escape his lips ‘I need you’ I whispered through the tears ‘please don’t leave me’ I whispered again because I lost my voice through the tears ‘baby no, shhh, I’m not going anywhere I promise you’ he said allowing me to bury my head deep into his chest again ‘YN you need to tell me what’s wrong so I can help you’ he told me stroking my hair comfortingly, I nodded knowing I had to tell him and maybe when I tell him I might feel better. I pulled away from him and looked down then back to his face ‘my mum’s pregnant’ I told him making him furrow his eyebrows in confusion because I doubt he understands why I’m annoyed at that ‘I feel betrayed, she betrayed my dad’ I whispered as more and more tears fell from my eyes ‘I don’t want to go back to her, I can’t go back to her’ I said shaking my head ‘it’s going to be okay don’t worry’ Justin said rubbing my back ‘just stay here with me, you don’t have to go back’ he said pulling me into his chest once more and bringing the duvet over our bodies more so only out heads were above it, I just nodded to him saying to stay here with him and suddenly I wanted to move in with him now even if that meant being alone because right now Justin is the only family I have well I have Josh but he doesn’t really have a choice but to stay with my mum. We both laid there in silence for a moment just staring at each other ‘I understand what you’re going through you know’ Justin mumbled quietly which made me furrow my eyebrows at him ‘when my mum and dad spilt up’ he said sadly which made me now comfort him and wrap my small arms around his strong torso and listen to him ‘I know it’s not the same thing. But when I got older and my dad found Erin I hated her’ he sighed ‘I hated her because I thought that she was the one and only thing that was getting in the way of mum and dad getting back together and I used to be so rude to her, but then she got pregnant and I hated her even more knowing that know there was no chance of mum and dad getting back together, and I swore that I would hate her, my dad and even jazzy and jaxon for the rest of my life because I wanted to blame them for my mum and dad not getting back together’ he said followed by a chuckled which made me confused, I found everything he was saying so hard to believe because he adores Jazzy and Jaxon ‘but as soon as Jazzy was born I fell in love with her, and something just clicked in my head and told me not to try and ruin that family just because mine was already ruined, and I now realise that mum and dad had no chance of ever getting back together I mean they broke up when I was a baby so after like ten years or whatever why would they get back together’ he said shaking his head ‘I’m sorry’ I said softly ‘don’t be sorry’ he said shaking his head I just smiled up at him softly ‘it gets better I promise’ he said kissing the top of my forehead. 

Justin telling me that made me think it will actually get better, but my situation is different to his by dad is dead and she made a commitment to always love him even when he died, she still wears her wedding ring well at least she didn’t. But this doesn’t change the fact that I still hate my mum, and is it possible to… hate an unborn child? And I hate myself for saying that because I love children but I just resent the child knowing that he or she is the reason this family is falling apart ‘do you have to go to work today?’ Justin asked I shook my head telling him no ‘good we can just stay here all day’ he said and snuggled further into my chest sighing. ‘you know you can stay here if you want, like you can get some of your stuff from your house and bring it here’ Justin suggested as I nodded ‘and we can still get a house when you come back from tour for good’ I said ‘yeah’ he said quietly ‘what’s up?’ ‘it’s just i- I don’t want to go back on tour and leave you for three months’ he muttered quietly ‘ we’ve been longer’ I said quietly ‘I know but I don’t want to go at all I’d rather just stay here with you’ he said looking up at me ‘but performing is what you love doing’ I told him ‘yeah, but I love you more and I would give anything up just to be with you whenever I could, I hate leaving you all the time’ he sighed ‘you’re not leaving me Justin, you’re working and I love you so much no matter how long we spend apart’ I promised him ‘just never leave me’ he asked me ‘I won’t as long as you won’t leave me’ I said raising my eyebrows ‘I could never leave you… you know that’ he said looking down ‘I love you so much YN’ he muttered looking up at me ‘I love you too’ I said and placed my lips against his, he smiled to me as he pulled away before grabbing the TV remote from beside him and turning it on.

‘can I borrow some of your clothes I don’t have any?’ I asked Justin as I lightly pulled the covers off of me ‘yeah you can borrow whatever’ he said snuggling back down into bed making me laugh ‘thank you’ I said smiling I walked over to his drawers and grabbed a pair of his boxers with his ‘I <3 DROP DEAD’ t-shirt that literally almost came to my knees I then walked over to his bedroom door and just as I was about to excited I heard Justin speak ‘where are you going?’ he asked ‘I was going to make breakfast’ I said shrugging he then shook his head adorably ‘no’ he said ‘what?’ I said laughing ‘come back to bed’ he groaned as he rolled over so he was now fully facing me and held out his hands like a little baby I laughed again and walked over to him. I stood in front of him as he wrapped his arms around my thighs pulling me down onto the bed with him ‘stay here’ he ordered ‘yes sir’ I said jokingly saluting at him making him chuckle.


JUSTIN’S POINT OF VIEW

I wasn’t convinced that she’d be okay, and in some ways I didn’t want her to be okay not so she was upset but so I would have to stay with her here and not be on tour thousands of miles away, but I guess I was just finding excuses as to why I shouldn’t go back on tour, I don’t really want to go back on tour because the thought of YN being here alone scares me I don’t know why but it just does I feel like I need to be there for her and when I go on tour I’m not there for her. Ergh I don’t know what to do. YN then walked over to the door making my attention snap towards her 'where are you going?' i asking furrowing my eyebrows at her 'i was going to make breakfast' she shrugged as she turned around to face me as i saw she was in my t-shirt which usually -if it was anyone else- wouldn't be too happy but with YN i really don't care i actually love the fact that she wants to wear my clothes, this is the effect on me she makes me go all lovey dovey and cute but i literally can't help it, i just love to see a smile on her face. i shook my head furiously telling her not to go 'no' i said and pouted 'what?' she asked laughing 'come back to bed' i groaned as i turned over so i was fully facing her as i held my arms out to her trying to get her to come over to me she laughed once again and began to walk over. she stood in front of me so i wrapped my strong arms around her long toned legs and pulled her onto the bed so she was laying on top of me ‘stay here’ i ordered smirking at her ‘yes sir’ YN said jokingly saluting at me which made me laugh 'my shirt i see?' i said raising one eyebrow at her as i rested my hands firmly on her ass -she was still laying on me- 'yep' she said and moved my hands away from her ass 'noooo' i whined and moved them back 'what is it with you and my bum?' she muttered 'it's just really nice' i shrugged and laughed making YN laugh as well 'you seriously treat me like a rag doll' she sighed shaking her head 'no i don't!' i defended 'Justin' she said giving me that 'stop lying to yourself look' 'you pick me up and throw me over your shoulder whenever you want, you grab my as in public whenever you want' she said rambling on about how i treat her like a rag doll 'that doesn't mean i'm going to stop' i smirked and shrugged 'i guessed that one' she said laying her head down on my chest. but one thing was going through my mind... do i stay here with YN, or do i go back on tour?