Love In The Lights (Justin Bieber Story)

chapter 63

-4 MONTHS LATER-

JUSTIN’S POINT OF VIEW

In four months I wish I could say that something in my life had changed but it really hadn’t I was still so miserable and upset about the break up. I was acting like a complete and utter prick to everybody and anyone because I felt worthless and useless; I guess I wanted people to go through just a fraction of the hurt that I was still experiencing four months later. I miss her like anything, words can’t describe how hard it is for me not to go back to LA, Scooter took my phone off me and told me to focus on my work and fans, so he took it off me knowing that as soon as I got it all I would do would be text YN, I have no way to contact her. I even tried to book a flight back to LA for two days just to see her, but Scooter found out and ended up shouting at me like he is my own dad, I hate him sometimes. Oh and to top everything off, when I had a month’s break from tour –when I was supposed to be going to LA- Scooter literally forced me onto a plane to Canada and forced me to stay there until we had to go back on tour, I don’t know why he won’t let me or talk to her, can he not see how miserable I am without her… how much I hate life right now? How much I need her? I don’t even know what to do anymore, I act like I am happy when I’m not every night I cry myself to sleep because I can’t bare the thought of her with someone else or the fact that she may have moved on. Of course every day I plaster a smile on my face for my beliebers because I have to, I don’t want to disappoint them, I don’t want them to know I’m hurting. Somehow the paparazzi found out that I and YN broke up straight after we did and for about a week afterwards everything and everyone went crazy asking questions as to whether or not we had broken up, but neither of us said anything, I know why I didn’t say anything to anyone about it… because I wasn’t ready to accept it yet… and that’s four months later.

‘Justin come here’ Scooter said before we all climbed into our tour buses and headed to the airport only thing is.. I don’t know where we are going and whenever I ask everyone just quickly shrugs and changes the subject ‘what?’ muttered before sighing and walking over to him, I hated him so much at the moment ‘okay so.. we are going back to LA for a month, but I don’t want you to freak out okay?’ Scooter said sternly, wait we’re going back to LA?!?!... YN! ‘Seriously?’ I asked In pure dis-belief, this could be my chance, and I’m going to take it. Scooter nodded as he dug his hands and pulled out my phone from his back pocket, I quickly snatched it out of his hands and gave him a stern look for taking it. ‘get on the bus’ Scooter then ordered as he pointed his finger in the direction of my bus, that I share with Fredo. The bus that YN was on 4 months ago. I sighed once again as I walked over to the bus and shut the door, all that matters was that I was going to LA where she was going to be, only thing is… where would I find her?

YOUR POINT OF VIEW

4 months have passed and I would love to say that a lot has changed in that time but truth is nothing has changed. I still love Justin and I miss him like crazy. He hasn’t text me at all, does that mean he is over me? Because I really hope he isn’t, I need him. I’m an idiot to say the least. It’s all thanks to me that I am in this mess. I check Justin’s twitter almost every day I just want to know if he is okay or not. He seems to be doing okay but how do I really know what he is feeling behind the computer screen, all I know is that when he had a break on tour, he didn’t come back to LA he went to Canada and stayed the whole month there, it was probably to get away from me, so he doesn’t have to see me. He must have moved on now, that’s clear but why is it so hard for me to move on? I don’t know I just can’t. Everybody found out about mine and Justin’s breakup and for about a week after I didn’t leave the house, I didn’t want to face the paparazzi, I didn’t want to face the fans asking questions, I didn’t even want to face the reality that me and Justin had broken up. I started work a little bit after I can back to LA, everyone can see it in my photo shoots that I am not the same as I used to be… everyone knows why but nobody dares say it.