Love In The Lights (Justin Bieber Story)

Chapter 141

JUSTIN'S POINT OF VIEW

Was she right?

Had I been pressuring her?

Staring at me blankly, almost in a confused manner as I let my mouth open as if I were trying to say something but nothing came out. I didn't know what to say, for once in my life I was truly speechless, because I knew that YN was right.

I hadn't noticed it until know, but she was right everything she was saying was right, all we did was try for a baby, we didn't have just 'us' time it seemed as if we were both, or maybe it was just me, but so desperate for a child.

So desperate that I had forgotten the key things, communication. We hadn't spoken properly in probably a week, and it was all my fault I felt awful, as if I've disappointed both myself and YN.

Why can I such a dick sometimes?

'You haven't noticed it have you?' YN's weak voice stumbled into my ears, remaining silent as I was unaware of what to say, I don't want to admit to her that I haven't noticed it because then it would make me look like such a dick.

'You haven't noticed that everyday-for the past week- when I come home at seven or eight o'clock, you're sitting here, and the first thing that you ask me is 'can we try again tonight?' Do you know what that feels like?' YN muttered her gaze finally reaching mine. 'It feels like shit, you don't even ask me how my day was, or how I'm feeling. Then when I agree to it- because I don't want to annoy you and I just want you to be happy- I then make dinner for us both without any help and then as soon as we're finished we try for a baby, ITS THE SAME EVERY DAY' she said screaming the last part, making my heart shatter just noticing how much I had effected her and I didn't even know it.

'We don't talk anymore, we haven't for a while, I used to love coming home, knowing that you'd be there as soon as I got home, just waiting to ask me how my day was, give me a kiss, but that doesn't happen anymore' she shook her head before continuing 'don't get me wrong, every day you tell me you love me, but sometimes I don't feel it anymore as if the only thing you want right now is a baby' she whispered 'and that isn't going to happen if you keep pressuring me' she suddenly snapped.

Throughout her whole rant I just sat there, not saying a word, allowing the sharp words to sink into my skin-as much as I didn't want them to.

I couldn't help but notice how broke YN look and how upset. She looked as if she was about to burst into tears, that was enough alone to shatter my heart knowing I was the reason for that.

'I-i'm so sorry' I shook my head as I stood up, matching YN as we stood face to face 'I didn't mean to, you know that, you know that I love you more than anything in the world and I'm just excited to have this baby and I'm sorry, I should have realized that I was adding extra pressure to you' I sighed, shakily running a hand through my hair as I kept my eyes locked on hers.

'And I'm sorry for being a complete dick to you, I should have ask you how your day was and I should be the best husband I can be, but from now on, let's not try for a baby' I said shaking my head and reaching over to YN, taking my hands in hers, I was expecting her to pull away, but to my surprise she didn't, she let me take my hands in hers as I linked our fingers together, gently grazing my thumb over hers.

Stepping closer to her I dropped both of our hands to our waists, although keeping them intertwined 'let's not purposely try' I said shaking my head lightly 'if it happens, it happens, no pressure' I whispered 'no pressure?' YN made sure 'none' I shook my head, YN smiled in response nodding her head lightly.

'I love you so much baby, never forget that, no matter how hard things get' I mumbled pressing my forehead to hers 'I know and I love you too' she weakly smiled.