i dont know how to act anymore. im tired physically and mentally. i cant see the world light. even i dont trust god in this case. feels like thousand stars couldnt light night and even the sun wasnt that bright enough. i've might fallen to the darkness and slowly became one.
im so sorry for everyone who always standing for me, keep cheer me on and even support the way i dont worth at all.
i need to recover for a long time, but i dont feel i can. when psychiatrist asked me about what happen, i cant answer because i dont how to begin. i dont know how to tell the sadness of this. i felt empty yet nobody can fill me. i've tired enough to spread positivity and became people happiness. i am tired of myself.
there's no differences anymore between sadness and miserable. i am both. i dont know whether im laughing or crying, because tears dont fall out anymore. its depleted through this time and i cant even count how many times i've cried. i need to be saved, but still i pushed people who tried to save me.
this my letter.
please... save me.
past & present,
kim seokjin
