ꜱᴛᴜᴄᴋ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ- ᴋɪʟʟᴜᴀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ [OLD]

40- 𝘐'𝘮 𝘹 𝘎𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘹 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘹 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘹 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬

All the Killua drama was pretty much put aside, but I still had a pit in the bottom of my stomach. My best friend just left me behind, and all I had left was the little bits of conversation left from the days we had spent together.

"I don't know. You seem dependable. Trustworthy I guess."

"Because I need to prove to you that I'm strong."

"Goodbye, Y/n."

"Killua..." I whispered, not even paying attention to the pointless lecture about licenses in front of me.

"Y/n, you're gonna be okay." Quinn smiled understandingly, lightly holding my arm.

"But what about Killua? Will I ever see him again? Did Illumi just, lock him away forever?" I grimaced, overthinking all of the possibilities. 

"We're gonna get him back, I promise. You wanna know how I know?" They asked, pulling me into a hug.

"How?" I sniffled, feeling a build-up of tears.

"Because you're Y/n L/n. You can do anything you damn please, and are you really gonna let some bug-eyed idiot get in the way of what you want? You're gonna let that annoyingly attractive moron with roach eyebrows get in between you and Killua being friends? Hell no! And I'm gonna be with you every step of the way." They rubbed my back and hummed in my ear, making sure I felt safe and secure. Maybe all of the other examinees were watching. Maybe Illumi was watching. But I didn't care, I just wanted to feel okay. I let all of the tears out, thankful for a shoulder to cry on.

"Quinn?" I sniffled, gazing up at them a bit.

"Yes?"

"You don't like Killua all that much. Why are you encouraging me to find him?" I sobbed, letting the tears soak their sweater. 

"Because I know that'll make you happy. And that's all I want. I want you to experience all the joy that you can."

"Why?" I pressed my head a bit harder against their chest, enough to feel their heartbeat.

"Because..." They paused.

"Because I love you. I dunno if it's platonic or romantic or some sort of adoration, but I love you, so, so very much." They whispered. "I already know you don't love me back, so it's okay. Don't lie to me to make me feel better, but please be happy for as long as you can."

"You...love me?" I backed out of their embrace and wiped a few tears from my face.

"Yeah. I think I do." They chuckled, their eyes trained on my face. "But you don't want me like that. You'd much rather have Ki-" They hesitated for a moment. "Someone else. And I can respect that. I understand that. I don't want you ending up with someone you don't want to be with. So, stay with the people that make you happy, okay?" They smiled, cupping my face with their hands.

"Okay." I sniffed, wiping up some snot that came out of my nose with a tissue. I turned my attention towards Gon, who still gripped Illumi tightly.

"This is pointless." He whispered as Kurapika and someone else argued with each other. 

"Come on, let's just get this over with already so we can all go home!" Hanzo shouted.

"Hey listen here, buddy-" Leorio started but was cut off.

"This is completely pointless!" Gon shouted, his voice echoing throughout the room. "Why argue about whether somebody should've passed? If you're not satisfied that you made it, you can keep working until you are!" His voice quieted down a bit, but you could still sense how angry he was. "If Killua wants to retake the hunter exam then I know he'll pass. He didn't this time, and it is what it is." Gon gripped Illumi's arm tighter. "But still. If you've been forcing Killua to murder people against his will this whole time, I will never forgive you."

"Never forgive me?" Illumi repeated. "So, what will you do?"

"I won't do anything. But after I go rescue Killua, I'll never let you see him again!" Gon grunted.

"Someone like you, who decides to torture and abuse someone as amazing as Killua simply doesn't deserve him! I won't let you see him either!" I yelled at the scene below me, feeling some of the dried-up tears on my face.

Illumi simply hummed and reached out to touch Gon's forehead. In response, Gon jumped at least 5 feet backward in the air. Netero coughed in what I had assumed to be an attempt to break the uncomfortable silence. "All right everyone, let's continue. Gon's absolutely right, it's up to each of you to determine if you're worthy of your license. Now, you're perfectly welcome to complain about the results as much as you'd like, but our minds are made up. Killua has been disqualified from this year's hunter exam. While the rest of you have passed."

"Alrighty." Beans smiled, stepping forward. "I shall continue with the orientation." And as he said, Beans continued. But I didn't listen, there was simply too much on my mind. I wanted to know where Killua was. I needed to know where Killua was.

"Well then, we can now certify all nine applicants as licensed hunters!" Netero smiled, as though everything was just fine. 

"Yay." I grumbled sarcastically, wishing Killua was there to goof off with me.

~

Quinn, Gon, and I all went outside for whatever reason that may be, and just sat for a bit. I felt absolutely miserable, and I could tell Gon did too. We spotted Illumi just standing and staring at nothing in particular. "Gittarackur!" Gon called out angrily. Illumi turned, his eyes facing towards us. Gon stomped forward and I silently followed, my head hanging down low. "I want you to tell us where Killua is." He demanded.

"You're really going after him?" Illumi responded coldly.

"What, you expect us to just do nothing? Hell no! He means too much." I spat.

"You've made that painfully apparent." Illumi sighed. "I think going after him is a bad idea."

"Who cares what you think?" Gon stomped. "Killua is our friend. We'll get him back, I swear."