ABOUT LAST NIGHT

CHAPTER 58

JENNIE POV

"Well I caught you so many times looking at nowhere so why share with us why are you thinking those times?" Jisoo said and wipe her lips.

I look at them and they're looking at me intently waiting for me to drop the tea. I gulp hard because I know I can't share it with them because I will look like a fool in front of them and I don't want that to happen.

Jisoo is right. I'm always like that looking at nowhere because there's suddenly bugging me. Almost every day I'm always like that but she just caught me a few times and that's a relief because it will be embarrassing if she caught me almost every day.

Do you ever experienced like you're so busy flipping and signing the paper and holding a pen then suddenly you will look nowhere and will abandon your work because you suddenly think about someone you don't even know if she thinks about you.

Yeah I can't seem to end my day without her going in my mind. I'm always thinking if she's been doing great or even if she's asking herself if how was I? Do she even remember me? Does she even have a plan to go back to me as she promises? Is she going to try it again to me like what she said?

Those questions are always going inside my head that I can't seem to dodge because it's a fact question. It's been two years and yes I was happy living my life here and having my friends and family behind me but I sometimes ask myself.

Do I really happy?

And my inner self will answer that yes I do look happy but for me? I can't believe it because I always felt that something is missing in my life for me to be completely happy and that is her. She will be always part of my life and will always complete my happiness.

I can't tell myself that I'm happy like others because my true happiness is still not beside me but it's frightening me that what if she will not come back anymore? What if she has someone else as she bumps into a girl who is better than me then she forgot that I'm here waiting for her to come back while she already has a home there?

You're her home.

Am I? Is it really me? Because I'm not sure about that because to be home you need to let her feel safe but I don't think I let her feel that but hell whatever because I'm sure I will let her feel home when she comes back in my arms. I will make her the most happiest and loved person on earth.

And that will happen if...she comes back.

I hope she will stick to her word because if not? Oh God just kill me. In two years I realize that I was nothing without her and It's hurt me just thinking what if she will not go home anymore.

Oh God please don't! Each night I find myself standing near the window of my bedroom and looking at the shining stars and convincing myself that I was strong because I passed another day that she's away and I convince myself she will comebacks and we will start again.

I hope that will really happen.

I'm so eager to hug and kiss her. I'm so eager to talk about our future together and mostly...I'm so eager to shower her with my love. Yes it's been a year by I'm still here waiting for her like a lovesick girl who is still head over heels to the girl I hurt the most but the past is past and I will love her no matter what.

even she already have someone?

I ask myself and it's kind of makes my heartfelt heavy! Why do I even need to ask myself like that? Am I crazy? Oh God I think...I think I can manage just to see her happy? I can manage to go to heaven if that's happen fuck it. Of course I will be hurt if that's happening.