ABOUT LAST NIGHT

CHAPTER 94

LISA POV

I tighten my held to the bed sheet as I shut my eyes closed. Sweating hard and panting heavily as if I just ran to a long marathon. I tried to open my eyes and scream so loud but nothing came out. It was all quiet and I can't move my body. 

I want to sit up abruptly and shout from the top of my lungs but I never succeed. I want to move every part of my body but I just can't! As if I was in the chain and no one wants me to move! I look around but when I look at my back I saw Jennie fell on the stairs and rolling continuously until the last step.

I saw how she fell and how she roll around until she was already covered with her blood. "AHHHH!" I shout so loud and that's when I found myself crying again in the middle of the night.

I sat up on our bed as my whole body started to trembled so difficultly. Sweat dripping on my forehead as my heavy breathing can be heard in the whole room. I shakily lean on the headdress and hug my knees and cried again. It was always like this. Every night.

I've been having bad dreams 4 days in a row but I never tell them. No one knows I'm already having a hard time living alone here but I never ask for help. I don't want any of them to help me. I can't be on my own and I don't need anyone's help.

I rapidly shook my head once every horrible scene flash through my mind. My dream was literally the worst. It's like I was being punished every night. I always saw Jennie lying on the floor swimming in her own blood. I always saw how she fell on the stairs even though I never really witness it but it's like they're making me see all of those.

What's even worse is?... One night I dream about a little girl, she was so cute and her age looks like around 3 years old. She's a carbon copy of Jennie. In my dreams, we're happy playing and laughing when she fades away with a smile and says goodbye. At that moment I know...I know she was supposed to be with us.

I was the worst of all...I killed her. That's what's in my mind. I just killed my innocent baby but I can't also bear to let Jennie die. "I'm so sorry Riley" I mumbled as a sob escaped on my lips.

Every night I'm waking up screaming, trembling, sweating, and mostly crying while saying my sorry in the air. Once I woke up in the middle of the night I wouldn't find myself falling asleep again. I can't go back to sleep scared that a bad dream will happen again. Scared that I will witness all of those again.

I was scared of my dream...I was so scared of sleeping.

I calm myself before I stand up from my bed and slowly walk towards the massive window on our bed with my barefoot. My cast is already removed and my ankle is already fine. It's early than we expected.

Well...everything can possibly happen... unexpected. You don't see the future anyways.

I took the remote of the curtain to swing the curtains aside. Once the night can already see I stand up in front and look at the stars.

Stars remind me of Jennie that's why I love looking at those stars who are shining brightly like Jennie. It's already 2:30 Am but the stars are still so bright. I wonder if Jennie is still awake like me? Is she even experiencing what I'm experiencing? Well, I hope not.

I miss Jennie. I want to be with her at this time and bring her in my arms and we will face this cruel dilemma together because that's what we promise. That we will be together whatever what happened but at this situation? Why we're away? Why we're not together? Why we're both suffering alone?

We should be beside each other and being a comfortable zone for one another but why not? Why does it feel like I'm just one in this feud? I was hurting not only from the fact that we lost our daughter but from the fact that we seem to like being miles away again like before.