ABOUT LAST NIGHT

CHAPTER 96

LISA POV

3 days quickly passed and nothing changed except that Jennie is already allowing herself to eat a little and drink her medicine. The medicine didn't need to drink like every day but it's really important to drink it when she feels ache on her stitch or center but she never really told me if she's in pain.

I tried to make conversation and stay in the room for a long but it looks like even myself I can't stand being ignored by her. I'm just torturing myself by trying and trying to get her back and her attention however, I still tried even I'm the one who's still feeling aches in my heart every time I'm going out of the room.

Whenever I'm going inside of our room I already accept that I will go out with a heavy heart. I already tried all things that can get her attention or might interest her but she just doesn't care about everything I do! If I ask her something Important she will just answer me like 'Yes' and 'No' other than that there's nothing else.

I thought by me by her side will help. I thought I can make her feel the security and comfort or at least make her smile but base on my observation...day by day Jennie is slowly shutting me off. Day by day...I feeling I was already alone. It's like Jennie is here with me on the same roof but her soul was already buried 6 feet.

It makes me sad thinking that all I did is nonsense. There's no improvement since she came back. Well we're just the same but the difference is...I already accepted the reality that my stillborn daughter was gone. I already accepted it all but there's still one thing that pulling me back.

I barely had a good sleep. Except for the reason I was worried about Jennie...I'm still having the same nightmare. I always woke up trembling and after calming myself down I never came back to sleep instead I will go to our room and take a peek at sleeping Jennie.

If I find her just fine I will go downstairs and will just watch the sun came out before preparing breakfast. All these past days that's been my routine. My eyes are already bloodshot and the dark circles under my eyes turn even darker as If I was punched by the kangaroo.

I was just thankful that Jennie never notice it. Well I always put concealer to not make it visible but the bloodshot look of my eyes couldn't hide that's why I was worried that Jennie might see it and I'm scared I will just make her worried but anyways....she never even look at me in my eyes so how the hell would she notice it?

It's funny how I'm taking good care of my wife when I can't take care of myself. I remember Jennie said I should take care of my self not just her but what can I do? I was lost because she was lost. I was tired because she's tired. It's all coming from her.

What she felt...is what I felt.

I never plan taking care of myself if I still haven't reached my mission to bring back my lost wife. My mindset was totally stupid but never mind. My wife is more than important at this time. I will do everything just to see my wife back. 

I sigh as I took a sip of my coffee. It's already 1 Am and I can't find myself closing my eyes. I tried but just by thinking of sleeping then will just be awakened by a bad dream? No thanks. Better not sleep than had a very terrible dream.

If I sleep it's just like I tortured myself.

But if I don't sleep I still tortured myself.

"How life can be this confusing and be messed up at the same time" I mumbled as I chuckled sarcastically.

I was currently in the living room and having a cup of coffee. It's so cold because it's ber months if y'all remember... Christmas is coming too but we're still like this. We should be welcoming Christmas and new year with positivity but we're here in our dead house.