Soulmates

Hiding

As soon as Steve leaves you feel tears prickling your eyes. You shake them off and look to Bucky for answers. "Bucky," your voice breaks slightly, "What does Steve mean? Does that mean it's you?" Bucky shakes his head and bites his lip before answering.

"Doll I can't tell you without Steve, it's not fair to him." You feel a tear slide down your cheek and quickly wipe it away. "Bucky, I just want to know. I have a right to know."

"Doll. You are so focused on knowing which one it is, you don't even see it. You told Natasha you didn't want to know, but you clearly do." You finally stop attacking the tears escaping your eyes and let Bucky see you vulnerable.

"Bucky, I just-i'm scared." You admit in a whisper. "Of what doll?" He asks moving closer to you and wiping away a fresh tear. His flesh thumb rubbing your cheek. "I can't tell you." You breath out with your eyes focused on the blue storm of his.

"Y/n the answer is right in front of you. Theres something you're clearly scared of that goes back to before you came to the compound. You need to start being honest with us and yourself if you want to know. What are you scared of?"

You can't. It's too hard. You shake your head and cry uncontrollably. You let yourself fall into Bucky's chest and wrap your arms around him crying into his chest. He wraps you in a hug and tries to sooth you. "I can't tell you." You whisper through your tears.

"Then you're not ready. I can't tell you." He kisses the top of your head and you pull away and nod in understanding. You look down at the ground and pull yourself together before meeting his eyes again. "Okay." You whisper before leaving the room and heading to your own.

*

Later that night you go to Natasha's room looking for advise. You tell her everything that happened with Bucky and Steve and that you haven't been completely honest with all of them about your past.

"You need to tell me exactly what you're hiding form them because it's clearly bugging you and you need to talk about it." She's sitting against the headboard of her bed and you're laying on her lap stretched out across the mattress.

"Natasha what I have with Bucky and Steve is so confusing. We went on one date. Yet I feel like I've known both of them my whole life. And theres a huge part of me that doesn't want to let them go. But that means coming to terms with my past and I'm not ready for that."

"Y/n I've seen the way they look at you. You can't tell me you don't already know the answer you're looking for. Even I know it. As far as your past. You need to get it out in the open or you'll end up loosing them both." You sit up and look at her. "Okay."

"Now you should tell me because i'm basically your best friend." You laugh and shake your head before getting serious. "I've been so scared about Steve and Bucky because, the last guy I was with died. He wasn't my soulmate, neither of use saw color. I thought we eventually would because we seemed so perfect together." Your voice breaks as you talk and Natasha rubs your shoulder as you're telling her.

"One night we fought about it. He said he didn't think we would ever see color and it had been too long. I got really mad. I didn't mean to, but I struck him with my powers. I froze his heart. And he died. And this isn't a fairytale so... an act of true love, couldn't save him. Before I tell them, I just need to go to bed. I need to sleep on this. Thank you Nat."

"Anytime y/n. And i'm sorry about your fiancé."