Soulmates

In time

You're laying in the couch with Nat watching a movie and you let out a long dramatic sigh and look at Nat. It had been five days now since you left the compound.  "I wonder how the boys are doing."

"No. One week. No contact. This is good for you y/n. It's helping and you know it. Two more days. They're fine. They're probably doing the same thing we are right now."

"What if I get back and they don't want me anymore? What if they think I'm too broken and they're upset that I left them alone for a whole week. What if the decide they'd rather be with each other than me?"

"That's bullshit and you know it. Wait. What? What do you mean they'd rather be with each other?" Fuck. You didn't mean to let that slip. "Nothing. I don't know my mind is just..." you try to cover it up.

"No you obviously meant something. Do they like...have feelings for each other?" You look away and play with you fingers. "It is not my place to say."

"Okay. Well I won't ask anymore questions about that, but I'm going to say something and you just nod yes or no for me." You look at her and roll your eyes while laughing. "What?"

"You're all dating each other." You can't help but smile, and she doesn't need you to show your head, she knows. "I'm really happy for you, and them."

You open your mouth to say not to tell anyone but she beats you too it. "No I won't tell anybody. Don't worry. I think that's hot. It'll make the sex better because they'll be into it with each other too."

"Yea. They're still figuring out the physical stuff, they haven't really done anything other than kiss but they know how they feel. They just don't know how to explain it."

"That's good. Now can we finish our movie?" You take the remote and pause the T.V. "Nat what if I get back and I'm still not ready to be with them. What if for some reason this didn't help and I push them away. I don't want to but my mind is fucking with me constantly."

"This isn't what you're going to want to hear, but your mind is going to keep messing with you. You went through something traumatic. You just need to fight it. Remind yourself it doesn't define you and that he doesn't own you. Nobody does."

You smile to yourself. "My boys do. They own me. My love for them, my heart, my soul. I'd give them everything I have..." the words slip out of your mouth, you didn't even realize you were saying them.

"You still have a way to go. But you'll be okay. Because of what you just said. You have things to look forward to, you have them, you have me. And Tony. God I got an earful. He wants to know you're okay too. Won't stop asking."

"I'll be okay. In time."