Guilt

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Loud crying echoes through the baby monitor again

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Loud crying echoes through the baby monitor again. River nudges me in a way to let me know that it's my turn to get out of bed.

Groaning internally, I groggily open my eyes and rub them as I kick the covers off me.

The maximum amount of sleep we both have gotten in the last nine month is four hours. Possibly less from the amount of times the twins have woken up in the middle of the night.

I get out of bed and put on a random hoodie as I walk out of the room. I mosey over to the nursery, trying to adjust my eyes to the hallway lights that light up with each step I take.

The crying increases even more the closer I get to the twins room.

"Jesus." I mutter under my breath, opening the door to the nursery and switching on the night lamp.

Matteo stands in his crib and immediately makes  grabby hands towards me as soon as he sees me. My gaze instantly soften when his teary eyes meet mine.

I should've known that he would be awake at this time. He's been sick all day. We've taken him to the doctors but they said that he's just teething a little later than Reyna. She started about a month ago.

"Papà." He sobs and my heart breaks hearing his cries. Papà and Mamà are the only words he can say, Reyna is the same too.

I pick him up and his cries immediately die down into small whimpers.

I grab a bib from his drawer and put it on my shoulder before he lays his head down on it. I quickly check up on my little girl and when I find out that she's peacefully asleep, I switch the night light off and walk out of the room quietly.

I lean back slightly to check on him, finding his cheeks are tinted a bright pink. His body temperature was unusually high so I took him out of his onesie and walked down the stairs.

Going outside normally calms him down so that's exactly what I did. I sit down on the porch swing and sit him on my lap. I gently rock the swing and look down at him with a small smile on my face as he lays his head on my chest.

I kiss the top of his head and shift him on my lap so he was facing me. I keep both of my hands on his back as he fists my hoodie, attempting to pull himself up but whining when he can't.

He grins when I finally help him stand up. Then of course he tugs on my hair and starts babbling.

"I know I need to get it cut man." I sigh and peck his cheek.

He stops his attack on my hair and lays his head on my shoulder, wrapping his tiny arms around my neck.

"I was wondering what was taking you so long." I turn my head to the side and see River leaning against the doorframe with a dimpled smile on her face as she looks between Matteo and I.

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