atsushi oneshots 2

help//atsushi angst//

*request*??

-angst and fluff

Warning: self-harm, suicide, hallucinations.

Not canon reaction
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Third person pov

Another night where atsushi couldn't get any sleep because of those nightmares. The nightmares never seem to go away and never seem to get better at all, atsushi was just laying on the floor. Kyouka was sadly staying at yosano for some reason and now atsushi was alone with his hallucinations again.

Atsushi hate being alone but he could never tell the agency that. Atsushi was covered in many open wounds that were slowly healing. 'Maybe..I should take a walk..' Atsushi thought to himself as he slowly get up. Atsushi didn't change into anything and just put his shoes on and went for a walk. Atsushi found it peaceful walking outside of the night but it didn't stop the hallucinations at all, It was almost like the hallucinations were getting worse by each step atsushi took.

Atsushi soon made it to the river that he saved dazai from. '..I remember that day..' Atsushi thought to himself as he looked at the river and all he can hear was the hallucination telling him to jump off. Atsushi wasn't sure on what to do and slowly walk closer to the river, atsushi slowly looks down at the river. '..maybe..i could just..' Atsushi thought to himself as he looked let's go of the railing but suddenly someone pulled atsushi back. It was chuuya, chuuya was out because of a mission and saw atsushi.

"Are you alright?!" Chuuya ask atsushi, chuuya knew about atsushi and honestly didn't expect to see him trying to fall off into the river. Atsushi didn't say anything and suddenly atsushi started to cry. Chuuya look surprised, but immediately went to comfort atsushi. "I'm here..shh.." Chuuya softly says as atsushi buries his face into chuuya chest and chuuya just comfort the boy.

Atsushi didn't remember the last time he cried but he didn't really care anymore. 'Damm..he always seemed to be happy..' Chuuya thought to himself as he slowly picked up atsushi and slowly went back to chuuya house. Chuuya made sure to stay by atsushi side the whole time he slept because chuuya realized that atsushi was having nightmares. Atsushi actually got some decent sleep but it wasn't that decent. "Chuuya?" Atsushi said in confusion as chuuya walk into the room. "you're coming with me, i don't trust you to be alone." Chuuya said as he holds out his hand and atsushi takes it.

Atsushi didn't really know how to feel about being in the port mafia base but no one seem to question it but that was probably because of chuuya. "Are  the injury healing?" Chuuya ask atsushi, chuuya make sure to bandage them up because they weren't healing fast enough. "Yes..might take a while to heal though..I need energy to heal them, that's how my healing thing work.." Atsushi softly says as he yawn, and chuuya just nodded. 'He probably told the agency..' Atsushi thought to himself as he looked at the other member and atsushi was getting a little scared.

"has he had breakfast yet?" Kouyou ask chuuya and chuuya nodded as a no. "Get him some breakfast!" Kouyou said to the of the workers and atsushi was just confused. Atsushi immediately got some breakfast and atsushi was just really fucking confused. "Make sure to eat it all.." Kouyou said with a smiling smile and atsushi just nodded, the breakfast was just a simple breakfast but for atsushi it was a lot for being a simple breakfast.

"you're allowed to eat it all..no one will hurt you.." Akutagawa softly says to atsushi and atsushi look surprised but slowly he starts eat his breakfast. 'Why..are they being so kind to me?' Atsushi thought to himself, atsushi honestly wanted to cry again but didn't yet. Atsushi was really hungry so he ate it all, but the hallucination of the headmaster said he didn't deserve to eat. Atsushi was suddenly hug by gin, "it looked like you need a hug.." gin said and atsushi couldn't help but cry again. Akutagawa look startled by that but slowly tried to comfort atsushi as well.

"..what the hell happened to him..?" Tachihara ask higuchi and she had no idea. "He always so happy..seeing him like this I just wonder what actually happened in his childhood.." Higuchi said to tachihara, obviously no one knew about the hallucinations or atsushi past. The agency was obviously notified on what happened and they were on the way to the port mafia base. "Where atsushi!?" Dazai ask chuuya and basically starts to shaking him. "Stop shaking me!" Chuuya said as dazai suddenly stopped. "Follow me.." Chuuya said and they of course followed him.

Atsushi was wiping his tears away again, gin and akutagawa weren't sure on what to do now. "Atsushi!" Kyouka yelled as she basically jump on atsushi and hugs him. "Are you alright!? Did they hurt you?!" Kyouka ask and atsushi just froze because he didn't know if he was okay. "..I don't know.." Atsushi whispered to kyouka as he slowly let's his head fall onto her shoulder. "..they didn't hurt me.." Atsushi said and kyouka was happy to hear that.

"..I don't know why atsushi try to kill himself..." Chuuya said to the agency and they already guessed that chuuya knew nothing on why atsushi tried to kill himself. "I never noticed.." Yosano said as kenji went to hug atsushi as well. "Atsushi..do you want to talk about it?" Yosano ask and atsushi slowly nodding. "Alright..I think everyone should leave the room for now..we don't want to make him overwhelmed.." Yosano said to everyone and everyone slowly left the room. "..whenever you're ready.." Yosano softly says as she sit down and atsushi slowly started to talk. "I keep..seeing the Headmaster.." Atsushi said, yosano just nodded and also wrote it down. 'hallucinations..' Yosano thought to herself, atsushi didn't say much about his childhood but yosano knew it was fuck up.

"we can talk about your childhood another day.." Yosano said and atsushi was happy to hear that. The other didn't ask about what they talked about, they were all just worried for atsushi. Atsushi was very surprised on how the port mafia actually we're worried for him and everyone made sure to help atsushi. Mori didn't really care as much as his member but he still cared somewhat. Atsushi was basically spoiled by the port mafia and atsushi wasn't left alone, which atsushi was actually happy about because atsushi hates being alone.

"Are you sure..?" Atsushi ask akutagawa and he just nodded. The akutagawa sibling were letting atsushi stay with them and atsushi was grateful for that and learn a lot of things about the akutagawa siblings. Atsushi hallucinations of the Headmaster slowly went away by time but atsushi still in fact had nightmares but at least someone was with him the whole time. Atsushi was getting better and actually talk with yosano about his past and atsushi felt a lot better.

Atsushi actually got close to the port Mafia because of that but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Everyone was just glad atsushi was getting better.

(😭i think i messed up on this but I'm honestly not sure anymore)

(I hope i didn't mess up though)