Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 118: Love Awakens Part 3

Nikki had at last woken....my heart was ALIVE, AWAKE. And God, how I'd missed him. I was so lost & broke without him, but all the while I NEVER lost sight of what I was fighting for, what I was trying SO hard to bring back to me. things, things were SO painful while he slept to say the least. I could only be SO strong or try to be for so long, still I couldn't and didn't stop. But yes, the day Nikki opened those green eyes I love so well.... those exhausted, pain filled eyes. Those eyes that despite it all, still GLOWED shining like emerald's. 3 weeks Nikki was in his coma, things to come for a while wouldn't be easy....it would take time for him to recover especially, what ultimately mattered is he was alive & all that happened and would make our marriage, our love only stronger.

January 25, a date I will remember forever.... that night, I had not the heart to take my children home....my oldest. Together Amara and especially Josephine SLEPT in the bed in which Josephine had slept in. I slept, for the first time that night...because I had my Nikki back, my heart was healing.... our family was whole & where you will find us or rather me is waking up during the wee hours of January 26, 1995.... the triplets I remember had spent some time in the NICU and would be bathed when they were brought back in....

I find myself waking up, the triplets I believe in the NICU, and they will be brought back for another feeding. I see Nikki, whose features are more peaceful than they had been.... I see my oldest daughters, still sleeping away. Josephine holding on to her little sister, and I thank God she especially is sleeping. Now I find myself, gently squeezing Nikki's hand.... tracing the fingers, one by one & God, I feel myself tear up as he responds back to me.

Nikki opens, OPENS his eyes slowly & they land on me.... His eyes shining with tears. "Hey.... I feel that way too." He whispers.

"I love you." I whisper tearfully, before claiming his lips. I revel in the feel of him, savoring each moment before reluctantly we part & the way Nikki is looking at me now, says it all too me.

"I-I don't know if I've ever told you, but every time I see you.... it's like the first time."

Choked up I manage to reply with, "Oh NIKKI." And my husband, knows.... I see it in his eyes & too I know he sees it in mine.

"Kids? Babies?" Nikki whispers, as I move to help him drink more water as I can tell he needs it.

"Josephine & Amara are here Nikki...." I gesture to the hospital bed my oldest daughters are sharing, sleeping away still. Nikki follows my sight. "---They are sleeping. As for our precious little miracles? NICU, think getting a bath but I believe they are being brought in for a feeding soon."

"You don't know just how happy I am to see them, to see YOU.... well.... i imagine.... Oh Joe, I see it in your eyes. Talk to me Jo-Jo Bear. Tell me everything, I know this will fucking hurt, but get it all out baby...." Nikki goes to say more, but Frankie, Tony & James are being wheeled in now. Awake, fussing....and I lean into whisper to Nikki....

"Same here no lie....and I will babe, I PROMISE you." I would, as you will see not too long from now....

A quick kiss, quick yet last for the sweetest eternities before I find myself, helping Nikki, hold one at a time: Frankie, James & Tony. Tony is the most impatient it seems, on the verge of full-blown crying which I note causes Josephine to stir & wake....

But Tony settles, as he is the first one as he feels the heart of my beloved.... calms, as he begins to feed, and I find Josephine at my side....

"Can I help daddy?"

"You can sweetheart, but right now I want you to get some more sleep. You still need as much as you can. I see it in your eyes honey, it will be ok I promise you. And Josephine for the record? You ARE helping, you're here with us.... You make mommy feel better. Now try & rest, ok?"

"Ok daddy, you right. I love you and momma." She hugs me carefully, then Nikki who tells her....

"We all love you more than words, you're perfect & you take such amazing care of your brothers & sisters. Remember that."

Josephine tears up but whispers she will remember as she pads back to bed, her wild & untamed hair so like my Nikki's sticking out in every direction....and moments later, holding to Amara is back asleep.

Before long, Tony is fed.... followed by James, and finally: Frankie. Once the three of them are all fed & burped, I help Nikki carefully hold all three to his chest, and I can't help but admire the other half of my soul....

Awake, alive......BEAUTIFUL. He is BEAUTIFUL and this moment, the way he looks....it takes away my breath. Nikki always does, he is everything & more that a partner should be. He is a beyond amazing mother to our children, all five of our children. He deserves the world, he deserves everything....so do our children, and I will do everything I can. Too I know, Nikki would argue much the same about me. The truth is, as I have come to see it, every day we save each other & if that ain't changed by now, then it won't.

Nikki of course is so in tune with me & whispers echoing my thoughts......and I swear Tony, James, and Frankie are hanging on to every word. And I feel too, that the words will reach Josephine and Amara as well:

"I see it Jo-Jo bear, I KNOW. And I argue much the same about you. It took me a long time to see, once I DID...well everything fell into place. I DESERVE you, we deserve to be happy, for you & I to be together forever. You save my life, over and over...day after day Joe, that will NEVER change. Its YOU, my other half whose given me five of the most amazing children, whose given me...their heart, body & soul and SO much more. I'd rather have no one else BUT you, you're it for me. you've always been & always will be."

Our love, our family.... those words that night.... I guess what I am getting here is: I saw, felt, and lived those words every day. Always they were with me, the FEELING. We did end up getting the triplets to sleep not long after, those precious-beautiful words of my Honeybee. Nikki & I loathe to part with them, but I remember placing them together in their little bassinet, bundled & peaceful looking, I remember Nikki looking on as I'd whispered to them, "Never doubt how loved you are, how much I love you & I am proud of you...to be your father. And too, you've got one hell of a mother. Sleep well, and if you need me.... i will come running."

I cried; Nikki cried.... especially once the babies were taken back to the NICU, and so we'd just held each other awhile after that. just us in our own world and once we'd calmed enough, I am caressing Nikki's face whispered...., "I will tell you EVERYTHING HONEYBEE, be completely honest & open. You deserve no less than that, it's how it should be & it's how I know in my heart and soul, how it will always be between us."

In fact, Nikki will take the reins for that & as always, you'll see....

A/N: Part 3 done, a little bit of everything. The bitter-sweet, the sweet, and most of all the sheer LOVE. Next will be part4, Nikki's POV & he will be told EVERYTHING, and Nikki & Joe will be honest, open and be each other's strength