Endless S.M

Eighty-five♡

Song of the chapter- Something To Hold On To by Jonathan Tilkin

Locking the door behind me I turned around to see Shawn standing in the corner of room, taking a glance out of the long window.

I had bought him to my hotel room, one which was a few floors up from the party.

"Colby's parents must have alot of money to hire out this place" Shawn simply said as he looked away from the window and back at me.

"Stop trying to make small talk Shawn" I said uncomfortably as I folded my arms, rubbing my hand along my bare arm.

He just nodded before letting out a small sigh. He then walked over to the single couch of my room before plunging down into it.

I just remained where I was as he sat forward in the chair, joining his hands together. He lifted his head to look at me, brushing his tongue ever so lightly against his bottom lip.

"I've lied to you about so many things Mia" he sighed, guilt radiating from his eyes.

I just gulped as I stared at him. I bit down on my bottom lip, just trying to refrain myself from saying anything.

"But I never lied about loving you"

Like always my breath hitched. My palms became sweaty as my arms dropped to my side.

He was searching for something in my eyes, maybe hoping for me to just run into his arms again but I couldn't. I couldn't let myself be held by him again.

"And when I said in class the other day that you don't cheat on someone you love, I meant that. I meant that more then anything" he said softly before flicking his eyes down to his hands and then back up at me.

"I never cheated on you Mia" he sighed.

I felt my eyes widen at him a little as my eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"I lied and told you that I cheated on you to protect you"

I just stared at him with achey eyes. I could still feel the heavy weight in my chest, as I still felt the same way I did as when he told me he cheated.

"How were you protecting me Shawn? Who the hell lies and says they cheated on someone?" I said in disbelief.

"When Dylan found out about us he made me break up with you. He said that if I didn't then he would have told the police and I couldn't have that Mia, I couldn't lose you like that" Shawn explained, his eyes intensely looking at me to make sure that I knew what he was saying was true.

And I believed him. He could say anything and I would still believe him.

"Why couldn't you just have said all that to me?" I furrowed my eyebrows, feeling a lump starting to form in my throat.

He hesitated at first, looking away from me for a brief moment.

"I wanted to hurt you" he said shamefully as he stared down at the ground.

"I wanted to hurt you in the worst way possible so you would hate me"

I could already feel my eyes welling up with tears as I fought the urge to to let them fall.