89. Rue

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Silas sat in front of his computer. He was supposedly be working on the next chapters of his novel. The writing application on the screen remained a white page as Silas stared at the blinking cursor at the beginning of the page.

How could Silas write anything when his mind was deeply troubled of not knowing where Oisin's whereabouts and when or if his lover was coming back.

"Could he?" Silas began talking to himself. "Impossible!"

Silas' mind was fleeting and creating illusionary monsters in his head. He was thinking that the reason why Oisin had not come back yet was he had found about his infidelity. And, Oisin had decided to leave him.

Silas regretted what happened between him and Ajax that day. He knew that what happened that day should had not happened. The day he and Ajax almost had sex. He knew what happened between him and Ajax was inexcusable. However, on hindsight, it seemed that he was not himself that day.

He went that day to Ajax's apartment as a genuinely concern friend. After all, they had some wonderful history together and Silas could not pretend as if Ajax did not mean anything to him. However, when he got to Ajax's place, it seemed that something or some force was controlling over his body. As if a force so cunning and strong awakened all his sexual emotions and turned him into a puppet to do all its bidding.

Silas knew that it was absolutely ridiculous thing to say, however, that was how he felt after they were interrupted by Huntley. It was like he was awaken from a dream that he wished he never had. As if whatever force that lured him to lust over and do sexual things with Ajax, was definitely a force that had no emotion and pure evil.

After that incident, Silas was overwhelmed with remorse.

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