Neverland - Jenlisa One Shots 2.0
Euphoria (noun) - a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.
Before I met you, I'm so afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, it seemed that it never lasts. Thank you because in this messed...
What will you feel and think if you are aware that your days are being numbered?
To others they might feel depress and question life, like what is the essence of continue living if you already know your ending, right?
But me? I'm different.
Even though I am all aware of my "supposedly" ending, it does not stop me in living my life and if I may add, I even living it to the fullest.
Why?
Because no matter what, for me it is still a gift that we should enjoy. BECAUSE LIFE IS A GIFT.
If there is a thing I don't like about my days being numbered? It is the attachment. The feelings involved.
I don't want to leave knowing I'll leave someone in despair, I don't want to leave knowing I'll leave someone in misery; I don't want to leave knowing that I'll leave someone hurting.
That is why I avoided COMMITMENT.
Until Lisa.
That tall, doe eyed girl with bangs.
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THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
The reason why I am now questioning everything, even my existence.
Because who on earth will give you an ideal life if in the end you will not experience it to its extent?To its limit?
Before when I discovered that my days being numbered, I accepted it whole heartedly, no whys, but now? All I want is an extension. A long one.
Well maybe, that how life works. No one knows the answer, just HIM.
Because of Lisa, I started praying for tomorrow.
I want to live and spend all my tomorrows with her.
Because of Lisa, I started believing that maybe just maybe it is not yet my end game, that maybe SHE IS MY END GAME.
I TRIED. God knows how much I tried. I tried to ignore her, I tried to avoid her, I tried not to fall for her.
But just like death love is inevitable because in this battle of love. I FAILED.
I AM NOW IN LOVE WITH HER. MY LILI.
It's a selfish move to commit in a relationship with her despite the reality that any moment now I will leave her without her being aware of, but can you blame me? Can you blame me that with her I FELT more alive than those moments I thought I'm already living my life to the fullest?
Since the moment I gave in to what I am truly feels that also the time I become HAPPY.
With Lisa I learned how to pause, how to take a break. Before since I want to experience everything, I did it in a flash not realizing I am failing to see one of the most important aspects of life and THOSE ARE:
