(REQUESTS PERMANENTLY CLOSED)Various X F!Reader One Shots

Drunken Sailor(Captain Shadow the Hedgehog X Reader)

I was way too excited to get this idea thought through.

It's loosely based on this version of "Drunken Sailor". I love this version way too much.

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-Reader's P.O.V.-

Even though I was just sweeping the deck, it was very hard to focus with the annoying ruckus coming from below. I set the broom down by my current dirt pile then went over to the hatch door, only to be greeted by a drunken Sonic. He was holding an open barrel of rum in one arm and a bucket of tankards in his other.

"Heeyy, (Y/N).." he slurred. "I found some rum to celebrate the last plunder.. C'mon, let's party..!"

"Sonic, how much did you drink? Shadow's gonna toss you off the ship if he finds out," I said. The stress was already hitting me.

"Oh, he won't toss me.. We need a break.. A relaxed crew is a happy crew.." he said, swaying slightly. "Everything's cool.. He'll find out regardless.. He can't toss us all.. He'll probably end up joining us.. You know him.."

I sighed. "Okay, fine."

Sonic whooped and began passing out pints to whoever wanted them. The crew began singing "Drunken Sailor" once the rum kicked in.

I cleaned up my mess and considered my work done. I watched the crew laugh, sing, and dance. I smiled through my stress.

After a few minutes, my predicted event proceeded. The captain's quarters door slammed open and an angry Captain Shadow emerged. He glared at the now drunk crew.

"Hey!" he boomed. "You drunk-"

"Shadow," I cut him off. "Love, can we talk for a second?"

His glare softened a bit once it met my gaze. His tone didn't change. "Why is the entire crew drunk."

"Sonic made a drunk yet valid point," I said.

His uncovered eye rolled. "What could that drunken imbecile tell you that would convince you to let this happen?"

"Well, one, I'm not their babysitter," I started.

Shadow interrupted. "You're the most intelligent and have the most common sense."

"Two, he said the crew could use a break. We prepared excessively for the last plunder and it paid off," I reasoned. "A relaxed crew is a happy crew. Let them have this, Shads. They deserve some fun."

He angrily squinted at the crew. Sonic and Amy were dancing while singing with Knuckles and Tails. His squint locked with my eyes then softened. He sighed. "Fine."

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Captain. I'm gonna go clean up Sonic's mess below deck. He was drunk when he came up."

"No need. I'll order him to do it," he said.

I grabbed the mop and half-full bucket of water. "Too late."

-

I poured the dirty mop water into the ocean and put the mop and bucket away. I looked at the crew. They were still having a good time.

I walked into the Captain's quarters to see him at his desk with his feet on the table. He was drinking a tankard of rum.

I giggled softly. "Hypocrite."

"The captain needs to celebrate a successful plunder with his crew," he reasoned with a soft smirk. "Now come here." 

Shadow pulled his feet off the desk and sat up. I straddled his lap. His arms wrapped around me. The rum was already taking effect.

"What shall we do with a drunken Shadow, what shall we do with a drunken Shadow, what shall we do with a drunken Shadow early in the mornin'?" I sang with a teasing smile.

"Hooray and up she rises, hooray and up she rises, hooray and up she rises early in the morning," he finished with a small, soft smile.

"Wanna join the crew outside?" I suggested.

Shadow shook his head. "Just you and I tonight."

I cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead. "Aye aye, Captain."

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Here you have it, guys.

As always, embrace your weirdness and I'll see you in the next one shot.

- The Self Shipping Weirdo