(REQUESTS PERMANENTLY CLOSED)Various X F!Reader One Shots

Kritzkrieg Lessons(Scout[Team Fortress 2] X Medic!Reader)

It took me too long, but here we are.

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"Thanks again for lunch, Engie," you smiled as you set your now washed dishes in the drying rack by the sink.

"No problem, darlin," the Texan smiled back. "Spy's cookin' dinner."

"Better than Pyro," you replied. You left the kitchen and went back to the medbay. Upon getting to the waiting room, you noticed Scout sneak into the medbay. You cocked an eyebrow and quietly followed him in.

Scout found your Kritzkrieg as you grabbed your syringe gun. Luckily for you, he didn't know how to work it. You pinned him to the wall behind him with six syringes piercing his shirt away from his skin with expert accuracy.

"What the-" he said as the first syringe pinned him to the wall. The five others followed. "Hey! Medic, what the hell, man?!"

You came out of the shadows and into the bright surgical ceiling lights of the medbay. "Scout, what're you doing with my Kritzkrieg?"

His eyes widened a bit at the sight of you. He usual attitude hid any nervousness he may have had. He gave a small chuckle. "Hey, girlie. I don't think Medic would like if we did it in here."

You set your syringe gun on a nearby table with pink cheeks at his comment. You crossed your arms. "Why're you in here?"

"Nice shot," he casually said.

You rolled your eyes. "Scout, answer my question, please."

"I needed t' use your gun," he replied.

"Why? I healed you after the battle yesterday and today's a ceasefire day. You aren't hurt," you countered.

"Okay, tell me somethin',"he changed the subject. "Why did I see ya inhalin' the beam of your gun before the fight last Monday, huh? And that ain't the first time I've seen ya do it."

You cocked your hip. "Let me answer your question with a question. You notice how focused and calm I am on the battlefield, right?"

"Yea'," he said.

"That's because of the Kritzkrieg. It keeps my anxiety practically nonexistent and you know how easily stressed I am," you explained.

"So, it's like pot?" he compared.

"Mhm. Medic won't let me smoke, but he'll let me inhale the Krtizkrieg fumes because the fumes are very light. It's like breathing normally. I don't even feel it," you continued. "Now, why did you need my Krtizkrieg?"

"I wanted to try the fumes," he admitted.

"...Scout, I don't even know what would happen if you inhaled the fumes with the amount of Bonk! in your system and I don't wanna know. You're not using my gun," you said.

"What? Come on, the fumes and the Bonk! will cancel each other out. I'll be more perfect than I already am," he protested.

"Bonk! is an upper and the fumes are a downer. Mixing uppers and downers is a horrible idea," you scolded.

"I'll respawn," he said.

"If you inhale the fumes, you're gonna regret it. I've done it before after a shitty night's sleep. Had coffee with breakfast to keep me awake then inhaled the fumes before the battle to keep my anxiety down. From personal experience, Scout, don't do it," you told him.

"...It's that bad?" he hesitated.

"You'll hate every second of it. As your doctor and girlfriend, I strictly advise against inhaling the fumes with all the Bonk! that's constantly in your system," you demanded. "Please listen to me."

"All right, all right," he caved. "I won't touch your gun. I don't even know how t' work it."

"Thank you," you sighed in relief. "Pinky promise?"

He smiled softly. He held up a pinky. "Pinky promise."

You hooked your pinky with his and kissed him softly. He immediately kissed back. You pulled back after a few moments.

"So," the Bostonian smirked. "Wanna switch places?"

Your cheeks erupted in a soft blush. "Shut up. Now I'm not letting you go." You turned and walked to the desk.

"What? (Y/N), come on!" Lemme go!" he pleaded.

"Attention, mercenaries," you spoke into the P.A. microphone. "Scout's pinned to a wall in the medbay. Don't free him. He did this to himself."

Ignoring Scout's begging and pleading, you grabbed your Krtizkrieg and walked out of the medbay. After five minutes, you came back to see Scout glaring at you. You held back your laughter as you pulled each syringe from the wall. You pecked his lips, catching him off guard.

"I love you," you told him immediately after.

His cheeks were pink and his eyebrows were furrowed. "Yeah, yeah."

He began to walk out. You watched him take one step out of the medbay. He then turned around and came back over to you. He kissed your cheek, gently flicked your forehead, then walked out.

"Love ya, too," he called.

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This one is definitely longer than I thought it would be when I first came up with the idea.

As always, embrace your weirdness and I'll see you in the next one shot.

- The Self Shipping Weirdo