Author: wolf_grl
Plot:
I'm not quite sure what the plot is exactly. I assume it is a romance type story, where the guy with the good looking eyebrows and her end up together? And I assume that he is her mate, as this is a werewolf story. There isn't too much I have to say about it, as I was getting a lot of mixed signals. But, I think that you might want to look into making things relevant to the promt, blend in a little better. Like the gang, I assume that they are important, yet, you wrote them in a hurried, throw them in last second type manner. Instead you could've worked them in seamlessly and allowed for it to flow better.
3/5
Grammar:
Commas!!!! You need to work on proper comma use, there are a lot of places where you should have a comma and don't. For example, after transition words, such as however, should more times then not have a comma after it. The other comma issues mainly come down to simply reading through and editing what you have written. Dialogue punctuation is important, and just dialogue grammar in general. You need to be sure to also end where someone is speaking with some type of punctuation. I am not the best at dialogue grammar, but I really do suggesting researching it.
3/5
Descriptions:
There aren't very many, if any at all. This is something that is very important to do when you're telling a story, people need some type of baseline to go off of. I'm not saying, full on describe everything, but a little bit goes a long way.
2/5
Characters:
There isn't much in the way of character development, as in, there really isn't any substance to the characters. I don't feel as if I know any of them, or have a true idea of their personality, which is something that you should start to lay the frame work for in the first few chapters. Your characters are what drive your plot and if you have well fleshed out characters, the reader will find your story much more involving.
3/5
Overall:
This book is in need of a little TLC and a good edit. However, it is not bad, and really does show some promise in the future! I would love to see how the story unfolds, and what does end up happening, as I believe I might have the plot a bit twisted. Either way, I wish you luck with this book!
:)
Final Rating:
11/20
