Author: Kayy_H
Plot:
It's a high school based book...yayyyyy
Sorry, I can't help it. High school centered books really aren't my favorite kind to read, I went through a phase where that is what I mainly read a couple of years ago and I'm still recovering. It was a dark time in my life.
However, I didn't read enough of your story to really judge judge the plot besides the fact that it is a romance and includes high school and I believe she end up falling for the guy who tripped her in english class, because she ends up tutoring him as well and that's what usually happens so that's my guess.
3/5
Grammar:
Your grammar was fine from what I read. There were a couple hiccups here and there but nothing that made me want to jump off of a bridge. I think my issue was how clunky and chunky some of your paragraphs and sentences were. At times it was hard to follow because it reads really jerky.
3/5
Descriptions:
To me your descriptions weren't something that I really noticed or overly enjoyed. They were here and there and not horrible, it just felt like they were far and few in between the monologue. Which isn't my thing at all.
3/5
Characters:
I feel like through the monologue you're trying to show case your MC's character?
I'm not positive, and as hard as I tried I skimmed through the monologue parts because as I mention below this they are some of my least favorite things in the world. So, if there were important characters traits in there that I didn't pick up on then forgive me. However, I honestly can't say that I really found anything that interesting about the MC from what I read. She seems like a classic teen fiction character who is all over the place and gets bullied, idk in my eyes from what I read in the first chapter she comes off as really basic. I hope that there is more to her.
3/5
What I Hated/Thoughts:
I feel really lost in the first paragraph, there isn't anything to ground me before you launch into talking about "her" table, which then left me scrambling trying to figure what the fuck was going on. It wasn't the good kind of confusion either, it was the kind that would make me uninterested in the rest of your story.
The "then" section of the first chapter loses me, I was just getting okay and recovering and enjoying your writing style and then...you throw it all away. It feels all over the place and you can say that it is the character and you're trying to show that she's scattered and what not, but I don't feel like that excuse works here. There are so many different thoughts shoved together in one long ass paragraph that I'm not really feeling it.
After that it is smoother sailing, but I don't know I just can't get in to it, or just as I start to enjoy it a weird sentence is thrown in there and messes everything up. I think it partly has to do with my hatred for a ton of inner monologue, I've never liked and probably never will. It just doesn't interest me when there is a lot of it.
I know this is a high school story with teenagers in it (duh) but, I feel like there are times when I can't handle how cliche high school things get. Maybe it's because I can't relate at all because I have never, ever, seen anything go down like this in high school or middle school. Yes, bullying happened, but I feel like the way that it goes down in most books is different then what I've witnessed. I don't know, maybe I've lived a sheltered high school life, but maybe in the 8 days (!!!!) that I have left I'll see something like this. This more of a it's not you it's me thing, but personally it affects my ability to read and get into a lot of high school centered books.
2/5
Overall:
This is 100% not my thing. However, besides that there are some technical things that you should tend to to make the reading process more enjoyable. Other than that I don't have anything else to say.
Final Score:
14/25
