Author: TheAmbiverts
Plot:
This comes across as a very typical romance type story that you can find just about anywhere. Just a simple following of a girl who gets pregnant on accident, then the guy stays just for the baby and they fall in love happily ever after. I assume this goes for your story as well as those are the vibes that it gives me, but I could be wrong. Honestly, this type of story really isn't my thing, as they all tend to become the same thing. There are some unrealistic tendencies in it though, such as Dhruv being mad one chapter and then the next giving out a super long felt out apology to the Anvi's sleeping body. That's just a little too far-fetched for me.
3/5
Grammar:
Your grammar isn't bad. I did find a few issues but they're all easy fixes. When it comes to this story I think just a simple read over and you'll be able to catch them all.
4/5
Descriptions:
There really aren't any descriptions to be found in your writing. Unless I missed them. But from what I read there are none. I have no idea what the room looks like, what the characters look like, nothing. Descriptions are super, super important in books. They allow your reader to get much more involved in the world. It also makes them feel closer to the characters and what is happening around them because descriptions allow you to "feel" it. Without them stories become super dry and boring. It's like looking into a dark hole and hearing people below but not being able to see anything.
1/5
Characters:
I don't feel anything for your characters. I can't find it in me to care about the unborn child, its mother, or father. None of your characters spark any interest, or desire to follow their story. They come across as merely two dimensional, instead of 3D. You need to work on expanding them, making them more relatable and taking the time to allow them to flourish as fake humans. You need to manipulate them and pick their traits and stick with them.
2/5
Anything Else I Want To Take Points Off For:
You have weird spacing between your paragraphs. You really don't need that extra two spaces between the paragraphs, it makes it distracting to read.
The writing has flow issues, there are a lot of places where the sentences don't flow together and come across as very choppy.
Your dialogue at times is on the cheesier side of things. It strays from being a realistic conversation between two people into something less believeable.
***Flashback*** *muffled screaming* I hate, hate, hate, hate, flashbacks that are thrown in in the manner that you did. Flashbacks can be good when the meld seamlessly into the story line. However, breaking up the flow of the story by declaring that a flashback is going to happen doesn't make your story look professional.
1/5
Overall:
Don't let this score get you down. Your book really is in need of some touch ups that will really make it progress. I suggest you follow, or at least contemplate my suggestions above, as they will help futher your book.
Final Score:
11/25
