Author: Red_as_a_Strawberry
Plot:
I do feel as if this story is the same as a lot of "Cinderella" type stories, but people eat them up which is why they are so popular. You did put and interesting spin on it by including a mental disorder, however, it is still most likely going to be just another girl meets boy and they fall in love in the end.
3/5
Grammar:
Your grammar has a few hiccups here and there, but I'm going to chalk it up to the story not being edited. So, read through and edit it, or get someone else to do it for you, as the small issues do make a difference in the big picture.
3/5
Descriptions:
You didn't really have much in the way of descriptions, I really think you can work on that. Descriptions are what make a story much more involving, and can take a simple work to the next level. I'm not asking for paragraphs upon paragraphs describing a flower, just something.
2/5
Characters:
The main character is the type that would generally annoy me, but, for whatever reason I don't mind her. I think it is all in the way you have written her, even though she does come across as a typical teen fiction female main character.
Now, the side characters on the other hand, and even the main character could use a little more substance to them. They all seem flat and with not much unique life in them. Adding more to their characters, even if they aren't a main character will also give your story an extra boost.
2/5
Anything Else I Don't Like:
What's with the period in the title?
There are times when your writing goes from flowing, to getting really sticky, and clunky. All you need to do is read through and edit.
3/5
Overall:
This book is okay. It's nothing to rant and rave about, but it also isn't horrible. I mentioned above how to make it better, which I suggest you look into. :)
Final Score:
13/25
Sorry for the long wait!
