Author: 1Writer2016
Plot:
Your plot appears to be unique and does contain a lot of interesting elements in it that make the reader want to continue on. I did find it a bit mysterious, which I really appreciate, as it kept me interested in what was going on. At first when he get's his trainee I was certain that they would end up together, as that is usually what ends up happening. But, I don't really feel like there's chemistry there, so I don't think that will come through. Instead you had Micheal, who, I really hope is a love interest because they would be adorable together!
4/5
Grammar:
Your grammar isn't bad, I did find a few mistakes that would be easy to catch when read over, but there isn't really anything that is the end of the world, or worth noting, so good for you!
4/5
Descriptions:
I didn't really notice your descriptions, if I'm being entirely honest. They were there, but there were times when they felt off or overused in a way. I think that you could do better in this department, you should expand and get creative with it, while not going too far off the deep end. Try and stay away from the average descriptions, which are fine, but I think you are capable of a lot more. With that said you don't need to describe everything, however, I really think that changing the descriptions up a bit would really take your book to the next level.
3/5
Characters:
I appreciate your characters. I feel as if there is more to them than meets the eye which makes them all the more interesting to read. Though there is still room for improvement in this department I really think you are super close to where you need to be here! And with that said I really like the main character, he seems so calm, yet not quite dull, and I love how everything he does is for some type of reason.
4/5
Overall:
There is something that I really want to mention and that is the flow of your story. In quite a few places your writing gets choppy, or there are places that are worded abnormally and don't sound right. These can easily be fixed with an edit and doing so will make your writing pop even more. In general though you have a very nice start to your book and with a little work put in you could make it spectacular.
Final Score:
15/20
