Author: WolvesandMoons
Plot:
It's a werewolf story and I didn't read enough of it to get a good grasp on the plot. But, I do think that it does seem unique, I mean there is no banging or mating in what I read of the first chapter, and on top of that I like the way your portray the MC. It seems like a good start, especially for a genre that is often times all the same and annoying.
BUT
It's boring.
And I'm salty about it
2/5
Grammar:
I didn't really read enough to get a good grasp on this either. I think you did pretty decent I didn't read anything super annoying so that's good.
4/5
Descriptions:
This is the only thing that this story has going for it and that is your writing. I love your writing style, but you need to change the way that you start your story or the way that you tell it. Because you are wasting your writing talent. I think that if you up your story telling game then you'll be on your way to something good.
3/5
Characters:
I only read enough to "meet" Charlie. And honestly I don't know anything about him, nor do I care. You don't give me much to go off of, and that's part of my problem. I think he could be a good character, but I feel like with how you started this you set him up for potential failure.
2/5
What I Hated/Thoughts:
Personally, most single word "starts" to a story are just boring to me. I don't like them, and they don't make me interested to read or grab my attention. With that said on occasion they're fine, but this time it isn't that gripping. Not to mention that it could be easily combined with the paragraph below it and with that together it would be a more interesting opening.
I'm confused. You start off your story with him smelling death and how that causes the reaction to shift into a wolf. And then the story vanishes and next thing we know he is awake and it's morning? I get if you want to show a kind of abandonment in his mind and how he became lost in it and no longer human. However, I feel like it was lost and instead left me feeling a little confused because it wasn't a smooth transition.
An issue that I am finding is the disconnect between the Charlie and the reader. I don't know Charlie so his angst about what he has done is lost on me. If I had gotten to know him before and then he snapped that and the after effects would have a larger affect on me. I want to know him, eat together and who knows what else and then, only then, would I be potentially capable of having feelings for him.
Listen, I'm bored. Like seriously *snores*, I'm just getting to the picture part and I can't find a single bit of care in my body. I like you're writing style, I just don't like what you're writing or how you are going about writing this story.
Also, I fucking hate it when people throw picture in the middle of the text of a story. I don't give a shit about how it will "enhance" my visual. And at least for me I'm too distracted by the extremely poor quality of the photo, and the potential horrid Photoshop job. If you're going to distract me from reading it better be worth it.
Actually the picture is it for me, I skimmed a little past it and it is too boring for my tastes and I'm not going to continue on.
1/5
Overall:
I don't hate it. Like at all, you just need to put your writing to good use and create a more compelling story or write the story in a more compelling way.
Final Score:
12/25
