Author: Wizard-Hunter
Plot or Cover/Blurb:
The cover is interesting. I have a couple questions about it though. Like why there are . between the letters in City. And, if the book is based in NYC why does the background have the Eiffel tower? Other than that the font is weird and I feel like it doesn't really fit with the book, but that could be just me. Idk, it's not that great of a cover, but I've seen a lot worse.
The blurb was sorta bad, but mostly just ehh. There wasn't a hook in it for me, there wasn't a single thing there that made me want to read your book. That could be because I'm not the target audience for this book. I do not like romance books, and especially cliche ones. They aren't for me so I am partially prejudice.
3/5
Grammar:
You have quite a few grammar mistakes scattered around, and they aren't that distracting just mildly annoying. It just made the writing look a little messy in places.
3/5
Descriptions:
There weren't any descriptions that I read. At least not any that really gave me a good understanding of my surroundings. You said where the character was but you didn't mention what it looked like or anything else. It was just bland and basic, which is really boring and annoying.
1/5
Characters:
Oh man, the female character is not one that I like. She makes me think of a child, and is just annoying. I also feel like she is the same exact chick that you read about in almost every story. I don't like her. It's just plain and simple. I also feel like she was dry and that she had personality, but it wasn't very gripping.
2/5
What I Hated/Thoughts:
I honestly, don't know where I stand on this. I am partly confused and not in the mystical good way, but in the way that makes me really angry because I feel like I'm being left out. You had me partly intrigued but not enough that made me super excited to go on to the next chapter. If I was just reading this book for fun I would've stopped. But, I think I need to read a little more for this review, and I want to see if you properly used a prologue. Because, I have my doubts that you did.
Oh, lookie there, you didn't use it properly. The thing about prologues is that they shouldn't be directly connected to the first chapter. Or the first chapter shouldn't be a continuation of the prologue. When used properly the prologue sets up the story but is not super directly connected to the first chapter. A lot of the time prologues can be used for giving a little back story, or dropping things that seem like nothing, but as you read you make connections to the prologue in this wonderful "oh shit I'm so smart" kind of way. Literally all that you have to do to fix this problem is change the title prologue, to chapter one. I guess that isn't super important but at the same time it is, because I see improperly used prologues as a beginners mistake, and sometimes it doesn't bode well for the rest of the story.
"An unusually isolated alley" Aren't most alleys isolated??? Also, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume from most movies and novels that include alleys and a lost girl that...there will be some tough looking guys and they'll see her and it will be an uh oh moment. I can't express how cliche the alley is and I almost hate it enough to keep reading, but I need more for the review.
Inner monologue... *dramatic sigh*
Oh look, two people arguing in an alley, and instead of minding her own business she is going to stick her nose in it. Of course.
I'm dying laughing right now, like no joke serious laughter. I just can't. Are you serious right now?? Like is this the real life or am I tripping?
"Soon the alley ended in front of an abandoned cottage, that would have looked like a horror house in the dark but in the day light in wasn't so creepy."
I'm sorry I shouldn't laugh. That's rude, and I also probably shouldn't include it, but I'm going to leave it. But seriously, an abandoned cottage????? I was under the impression that these people were in the alley yet it seems like she's walked forever. AND I was also under the impression that we were in NYC or at least a city??? And cottages aren't something you find in a city. Especially not at the end of the world's longest alley.
So, I'm stopping there. I can't after what's above this, that's enough for me.
1/5
Overall:
This isn't a horrible, horrible book it just needs a lot of work. I think some of the biggest issues for me was that you got me interested in the fake id's and then you threw my interest out the window with the first chapter. Don't take anything that I said to heart, just know that this is my opinion and it is what it is.
Final Score:
10/25
