Author: primrose12051999
Below will be a simple stream of thoughts based on a few of your poems.
Right off the bat we have a huge issue...your title. It should be "Amateur Poems" the lowercase poems look childish and like you don't know what you're doing when it comes to titles. Also, on your cover the poems is capitalized. So, you need consistency between the two.
Not a doll
This poem is fine. It isn't something that I like to read, and doesn't have any of the qualities that I like to see in the poetry that I read, but that is whatever. I think my biggest issue is that there isn't really any flow in the poem. It reads super choppy with the ideas connecting to each other, but they don't do it in a way that I enjoy.
Villan
That isn't how you spell villain...I suggest fixing that. I especially can't do this one. The bolded words are all up in my face and not in a good way, in an annoying, what the hell is going on type way. Also, the random words that start with a capital letter even though they shouldn't is super annoying as well. I don't think I understand what you're trying to get across in this poem. You begin by speaking of a very stereotypical "bad boy" type guy that can be found everywhere, and calling him a "villan" then from there you go against everything that you're saying and end with "villan" I don't get the point of it. At all.
NO
Again with the random bolding? I understand that you're trying to put emphasis on specific words, but it doesn't work for me at all. It's just straight up annoying and distracting. Again this poem doesn't have much flow and it really isn't something that keeps my attention or is groundbreaking.
The stranger I spoke to
I like the idea behind the poem and the story that you are trying to tell. I just don't like how it is written. Your beginning imagery is confusing "Skies opened their arms to envelope earth with lush greenery," it's a weird description and doesn't make sense or work. I think if you connected that skies to the rain you mentioned before, or just simple reconfigured that sentence you would be better off.
I'm going to leave my review off here just because I think I've done enough. I really suggest you work on your poems in the way of flow so that they read more smoothly and are a more enjoyable read. I also think you should work on making them more clear, because your poems aren't super deep, your wording just throws everything off.
Score:
3/10 (sorry I really didn't like them)
