Author: Jebet_
Plot:
I didn't read enough to get a super good understanding of the plot, but I did get some of the basis of it. I'm not quite sure yet if it is overly unique as there are a lot of book that deal with secrets but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt.
3/5
Grammar:
You need to work on this. You don't have horrible unreadable grammar, but I did notice quite a few mistakes, and you need to research dialogue grammar as yours is incorrect.
3/5
Descriptions:
I didn't really read anything that was super descriptive but I also didn't feel super out of the loop because you did describe somethings.
3/5
Characters:
I didn't really read enough to get a good insight on the main character, but from what I did read there wasn't that really stood out to me. Which isn't technically a good or bad thing, it's just meh.
3/5
What I Hated/Thoughts:
Generally speaking, starting your story with someone waking up isn't the best way to start off. It is common with younger writers and there are a million more reasons, you can google it if you don't believe me. Also besides that the first paragraph is super awkward, I suggest reading it over and picking it apart, there isn't any flow to it and it feels all stuttery.
The flow issues continues through out, I cannot stress enough how you should fix this. Your writing doesn't have to be beautiful and poetic, but flow is something that you should have and would make the reading so much nicer. Also, I feel like the prologue is not really needed at all? It gives some background, but it doesn't really ground anything and then with that it doesn't make sense when you connect it with the first chapter, because we continue on from the shortness of the prologue and it seems like they are in the same place even though they aren't.
Yeah, so the more I read of the chapter titled "Free" the more I feel like the prologue is useless. If you really analyze it and go through it there isn't anything overly important in there. For example all that is spoken of is the jail and how uncomfortable it is (which I assume most jails are), then it mentions hunger and boredom, then from there it hints at people having secrets, which we already know it's about someone's secret because of the title...
So, toss it out. Keep the Faith chapter instead it starts out the story so much better and gives more background information then the prologue does. I think the main thing you have to do to make Faith work as the official first chapter would be to mention her being in jail and then continue on with the rest of the chapter. I think it makes more sense and reads so much better. And your writing is a lot better in "Faith" than it is in the prologue.
2/5
Overall:
There is still a lot of work that needs to be done on this book, but I think there is still hope for turning it into something that is fun to read.
Final Score:
14/25
