Author: Cross-Warrior
Plot:
I really like this plot. It's a nice idea that I don't think I've seen done before, it probably has but I haven't read it. I also like the atmosphere that you built with the diverged conscience moments, it is super intense and interesting.
4/5
Grammar:
grammar it good
4/5
Descriptions:
I liked your descriptions in this book better, they didn't hold the same tacky quality as the other book did which is good. I also want to mention that you included way too much of that gym soccer game, oh, my, gosh. You could've cut that down by a lot and kept things interesting, but it killed my interest in the story.
3/5
Characters:
They weren't horrible. Still, I feel like they could use a little more work, though I do think I liked the MC a bit more than the characters in your other book. In this one at least I'm concerned for him, and that sorta thing.
3/5
What I Hated:
Hmm... I kinda hate the way you start this? But not all the way. I'm torn, because it is part interesting attention grabbing beginning but it also is a little bit movie or TV show kind of dramatic start as well. So, I don't know, what I think about it.
You get really wordy and repetitive in some paragraphs, stop it.
Also awkward sentences, watch out.
Alright, I love soccer, I really do, but this is really boring. Like so much so that I don't think I can finish this chapter. I don't have much in the way of motivation and I need a lot to get through this. You were doing super well too.
Alright spoiler alert, I skimmed the rest.
2/5
Overall:
This was another fine book. Not horrible, not great just whatever. I think this one really could be great with some editing and tweaking!
Final Score:
16/25
