Author: littlesilverwren
Plot or Cover/Blurb:
I don't like the cover. The picture is nice, but the placement/font of the title and your name is off. I suggest using the same font for the title throughout because the "darkened" part is super difficult to read. And then, you also can't read your username at the top, it doesn't need to be in my face but the color you chose blends into the lighter background. Other than that though you have a good picture.
Your blurb is alright, I suggest you play around with the wording and fix some missing commas or break some of the longer stretches up into different sentences. As it is right now though there really isn't anything that is terribly wrong.
3/5
Grammar:
I didn't notice any grammar things, at least not really. There were a couple blips here and there but it wasn't anything super obvious or super annoying either. For the most part your sentences were pretty good as well, I didn't notice very many that were too awkward.
4/5
Descriptions:
I think you did a decent job describing. They weren't terribly beautiful but they fulfilled their purpose and I think that that is good enough.
4/5
Characters:
Your characters weren't bad in the normal sense, but I just felt like they were kind of boring. Nothing about them made me want to keep reading or even kept my interest for a whole chapter. It could very well be me not connecting with the characters or there may be an actual problem there. I'm not positive. Either way I suggest you find someone else to give you their opinion on your book if you haven't already.
2/5
What I Hated/Thoughts:
I cannot get behind how you described the bowl of cold porridge, it freaks me out to be honest. "A bowl of cold porridge smiles up at Tris complete with a raisin-y mouth, eyes and honey hair."
It creeps me out and I might have nightmares.
Okay even with the next paragraph that shows her sister made it look like that it doesn't make it any less terrifying.
In the paragraph that has the specific times it is a bit info dumpy. You don't really lead into it, you just throw it down and choke me with it. I feel like you can find a better way to make this information a smoother transition into your story.
Your paragraphs are fairly solid, there are a few times where the writing is a tad bit sketchy but that is to be expected in a rough draft.
I got less then halfway through and then skimmed the rest, just because it was really boring for me, I wasn't really interested in the characters or where it was starting.
3/5
Overall:
This doesn't have bad writing, I simply got bored. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that would like to read this book.
P.S I still have the oatmeal face lingering in my mind and I am not okay.
Final Score:
16/25
