Author: geekyfangirl17
Plot:
I didn't read enough to really find out anything or even get a good hint at it.
Obviously though it will have some horror in it, and monsters which is always great.
3/5
Grammar:
It honestly surprised me that your grammar isn't bad. I know that sounds mean, but with your writing style I picture some of the other writers I have read on here and those are the ones that seem to have a lot of mistakes. However, I didn't really notice any, not that I was really looking for them either, but from what I did read there weren't any huge issues.
4/5
Descriptions:
From what I read I felt like there was a lack of them, it was a lot of dialogue besides the very beginning of the first chapter. I think that is something you should work on, just to try and bring some life in and really fill out the story.
From the descriptions that I did read I feel like you do a decent job, they may be super basic and plain but that doesn't make them bad, and I didn't hate them all the way.
2/5
Characters:
I didn't read much to get a super good grasp on them and I don't feel like making any drastic assumptions.
3/5
What I Hated/Thoughts:
"RED." For me isn't the best way to open a chapter, but I am also anti-somewhat dramatic-one word openings for the very first chapter. I think it works for some people and doesn't for others, so I won't call it a sin. If you don't want to toss it out, then at least make it "Red" because it being all caps is like a little fly buzzing in my ear or something. Also, atheistic wise:
Red.
vs
RED.
The Red just looks better to me, and it is a lot less of an eyesore.
I kind of hate the prologue, it doesn't make me want to keep reading. It just doesn't invoke anything in me and as I read it, even the second time, it just doesn't seem important. I feel like I'm wasting my time reading it, and if it is important later on I thing you should consider rewriting in some way or another so that it makes the importance of it a bit more obvious. That's just a suggestion though.
I don't like this. I ended up skimming most of the first chapter which seemed to drag on forever. From what I read there really isn't anything that leaves me with the desire to continue on. It is very dialogue heavy with minimal description after the very begging of the story.
I'm also not a fan of your writing style, it isn't my type and isn't something that I really enjoy reading. It is kind of soft and makes me think of a middle school book, which isn't exactly a bad, just not my type.
Also, I think you should read over some of the dialogue, there are times when it sounds kind of fake and nothing like real people talking.
2/5
Overall:
This really wasn't a writing style that I enjoyed, and I barely read any of it. But, don't take it personally seems how I didn't really hate it either.
Final Score:
14/25
