Author: hellocheeky
Plot:
Chick gets kidnapped, one of the kidnappers is her friend.
It could be a good plot, and I'm sure that the plot itself is, but the writing takes away so much from what this story could be. It's a little disappointing. I do want to say though that I feel like the kidnapping happened too fast. There wasn't any time for the reader to have any sort of connection or feeling towards the character who gets abducted, so it turned the prologue into something that's similar to just reading a newspaper article.
3/5
Grammar:
I didn't see any issues when I was reading through so good for you.
5/5
Descriptions:
There aren't any descriptions that catch my attention, they're just kind of stuffed into corners haphazardly and without much to it. I suggest you put in more descriptions, it will help to break up your short sentences and breathe more life into your writing. It will also help your readers get more involved in the story.
3/5
Characters:
The main character seemed pretty flat to me, there wasn't much to her or anything that made me feel a shred of sympathy for what happened. Nothing. She's just another person that got kidnapped that I don't care about. There really isn't much of her personality that comes out in the chapter leading up to the kidnapping, and I feel if there was a little bit more, that would make the kidnapping more meaningful.
2/5
Other Things I Hate:
There isn't much flow in this story. You have a lot of short choppy sentences that don't allow me to simply float along while reading. This also doesn't read like a story, instead it veers more towards being a list.
2/5
Overall:
*dramatic sigh*
I don't know what to say. I didn't hate this book, but the writing in it just isn't for me. You do have a good base, you just need to work on some things to make it better.
Final Score:
15/25
