The Darkest Days

119. Easier To Get

Vanessa was being haunted by her thoughts of leaving again.

She tried talking to Kristen instead as she knew Audrey wouldn't agree.

"Do you feel like quitting altogether? Or start fresh?"

"I don't know, mom."

"Well, think about it. You have loved singing and writing all your life. You are getting such a huge stage now. What could be causing you to push this away? Maybe it's something workable that you can solve. Get to the cause before acting, Vanessa."

Vanessa next talked to Jeff.

"I agree with your mother. I've seen artists quit and then realise that this is worse than before. This could be a temporary want. Maybe because you just need some time off and not time out."

Vanessa thought over and agreed.

They had a live talkshow performance to rehearse that day.

Audrey and Vanessa discussed some improvisations with the choreographer and went to the dressing room.

"Cedric is here." Vanessa's assistant whispered as she took the mic from her.

Someone passed water to Vanessa, whose eyes had widened. "Now?"

"Yes. He came as soon as you two went on stage."

Vanessa sighed and went to see him.

Audrey was already talked to him when she opened the door.

"Cedric. Hi."

"Hi, Vanessa. Nice performance."

"Thank you. What brings you here?"

"Just hadn't seen you two in a while."

Vanessa smiled and sat down. Audrey continued her conservation with him. Nothing seemed abnormal or unnatural but Vanessa just couldn't join the conversation.

She felt like she had no opinion over what they were talking, even when it was something usual.

Her energy just went down around him.

****

When he went back, Vanessa asked Audrey to have a talk with her.

"Right now? You head straight for the car usually."

"I have had a weird few days and I've decided on a conclusion."

"About?"

"Why I feel like escaping."

"You're still having these thoughts?"

"Yes. And the cycle will continue even if I manage to repress this again like last time."

"Carry on."

"We should quit the label. Rather than me quitting music and my career.. my problem is the company, not the job."

"V, how can you say such an amateur thing? We're bond with a contract-"

"Every contract has loopholes. We'll pay any sort of compensation. I can't continue to be associated with Cedric. They're ruining things for us."

"That's up for debate. This is your perspective on SMG. I think all the people are wonderful to us there-"

"The staff is, no doubt. But the Linhardts control it all. They can snap their ugly fingers and everyone would be against us."

"I know you've been watching movies to help with your songs but-"

"God, can everyone stop thinking about me as a mindless hopeless romantic whose head is always in the clouds for a prince charming? Years ago I might've been that but now I'm clearly grown from that-"