The Darkest Days

61. Journals

Four years ago

Vincent says writing is a therapy. So I, Jace Fitzgerald, am writing what I feel and hoping it will ease the pain. So far it hasn't. How can it? Writing won't bring them back. Hunter. Sy. They're both gone. Though I feel numb, I somehow feel pain as well. I don't know what this is. I don't know what I am now, or what I'll be in the future but it's definitely not what I planned.

This is funny. They were here, then they were not, and now they'll never be. Ever.

Sandy hasn't talked to anyone in five days. None of us have seen him. I've only spoken to Vincent twice, that guy knows how to force his way in.

I have no clue how the others are holding up, especially Rick. He must be beating himself up.

How the things have changed.

I don't want to see where we'll go now. I'm afraid of it.

Do I want to take revenge?

Sy would say no, and so would Hunter. He'd tell me to stay away from those powerful people. He had said no before too but we didn't listen.

I know how he must've felt. Even I said to Sy that day when I left for Sydney that she shouldn't go to her client. She didn't listen.

Why don't you listen to me, Sy?

Should I return home to my family? Is that still my family?

What do I do? It's all blank. As if I'm on an edge without anything to hold and I'll fall down.

So uncertain. Unknown. Strange. Painful.

****

Present day

Vanessa adjusted her black glittery dress and gave one last look in the mirror before heading out of the dressing room.

A young boy handed her a water bottle and she took it as she walked past him.

"Remind Audrey to call the estate agent this evening." She said to her assistant.

"She has to go out with Ethan this evening, doesn't she?"

"Ah, sh*t. Yes. I'll ask Jeff then-"

"Ask me what?" Jeff appeared from behind.

"To call the estate agent about our mom's house."

"Yeah, I'll do that. Now hurry. The shoot is already running late."

"On it."

As Vanessa reached the room with a large white screen and tens of people running errands for the photoshoot, Audrey got the last of her individual shots done.

"Good, good, yes. You're done, sweetheart. Thank you." The lady photographer smiled.

"Thank you." Audrey replied with a smile as Vanessa went around her to take her place instead.

Audrey removed her earrings and bracelets, only to have the stylist come up running.

"No, no, no. We have these for the whole day and we don't have the time to change your entire look for the evening. Keep them on, just change into this."

Audrey looked at the red crop top and black mini skirt.

"I was thinking of wearing something fuller bec-"

"You can't. You gotta wear this. There's going to be a lot of paps to click pictures and they'll be more talked about than these professional shoots."